Every movie conveys a certain message, either good or bad. Even those that feel plain and not that deep at first sight. They pass people a certain mindset, lifestyle and worldview, telling what’s right and what’s not.

Over the years I’ve talked about many movies that have a great value and teach good life lessons. However, I’ve also noticed a fair share of not so healthy messages and ideologies that almost feel like an actual cultural propaganda, whether intentional or not – I can’t really tell. But once you keep seeing a certain negative pattern being portrayed as something completely normal again and again, it’s hard to believe that it’s just a coincidence. It more feels like someone out there – an evil higher power or call it whatever you want – is trying to insert these destructive tendencies in people. And here are some of them.

Cheating

Sadly, infidelity is a part of relationships, so seeing it portrayed in films or books isn’t that surprising. You understand that these stories show real life from different perspectives, and cheating is one of them. But over the past few years, it has become a focal point of lots of movies and especially TV series, as there’s at least one plot-line about cheating. The worst part is that it isn’t shown as a mistake or a wrong act. On the contrary, it’s normalized and presented as the highest form of love, something the characters can’t control because their feelings are so strong.

Emily in Paris is the best example here. I swear there’s probably not a single character who hasn’t cheated on their partner whether physically or emotionally. And millions of fans romanticize those characters and that behavior. And I firmly believe that lots of people (especially young people) may copy this behavior, thinking it’s normal, cause they saw it on TV and it was so romantic.

Toxic relationships

Since we’re on the topic of love: toxic relationships are also highly romanticized in movies (and books as well). I’ve already talked about it in another post, so I’ll keep it short here. I feel like people tolerate toxic relationships in real life because of their wrong portrayal in all these stories. They make it seem so tragic and romantic, cause two people love each other so much that they can’t stay away from each other, so what if they’re not compatible or are abusive. Like in After or Normal People. The couples in these examples kept literally destroying each other but they reunited over and over again because apparently they’re soulmates and similar crap. And what seems romantic on screen is actually horrible in real life. But most people realize that once it’s already too late.

Too much drinking

Drinking is portrayed as a certain attribute of a cool lifestyle. Successful people drink after work, colleagues celebrate Friday nights in clubs, women always have a glass of wine in their gatherings or on dates. Characters drink even when they’re alone, working from home or just chilling. Not to mention the “negative drinking” – when people consume lots of alcohol when they’re heartbroken or have other problems. Think any occasion or event, and drinking is a big part of it.

And, of course, in most cases the characters get hammered, intoxicated, they inevitably throw up – that’s yet another weird thing they keep showing on TV – and they make lots of stupid decision and later try to fix them. But they never learn on their mistakes, so the scenario goes on and on. And it’s honestly too much.

I don’t have anything against moderate drinking, that’s something we all do in life. But right now it feels like these films and TV shows have become one long commercial for alcohol, convincing everyone that that’s what they should do, that it should be an integral part of our lives. And to me it’s funny how movies censor smoking yet freely promote excessive drinking.

Betraying friends

Friendships are also complicated on TV. And while I love how they show different situations and problems that can happen in a friendship and how to work on that, sometimes I feel like some stories normalize bad and toxic behavior towards friends. Take Serena and Blair from Gossip Girl. Fans consider them actual BFF goals, while they have treated one other so badly in multiple occasions. Starting from sleeping with the other’s boyfriend and finishing with spreading fake rumors or telling the other’s secrets to everyone. But somehow they always forgave each other cause “they’re such good friends”.

I truly find this problematic. Showing that you can treat your closest friend so horribly and simply get away with it. Or that it’s okay to betray them, let them down for your own purposes. Especially when it happens in YA stories, and teenagers copy that behavior thinking that’s how a real friendship works. Perhaps that’s why young people prefer to communicate with Chat GPT rather than having actual friends.

Consumerism

The “successful lifestyle” has yet another attribute: consumerism. You’ve definitely saw those movies when a character becomes wealthy and successful, the first thing they do is blindly buying everything they see. Multiple cars they don’t even drive, huge closets with tonnes of clothes they don’t wear. Whenever a character gets a paycheck what do they do? Right, they head to mall to buy some more clothes.

Characters like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City get highly romanticized. You can’t imagine how many girls dream about having Carrie’s chic lifestyle that revolves around shopping. Some are ready to sell their souls in order to have those wardrobes with designer pieces, thinking that’s what makes a person happy or successful. And that, I reckon, is a bigger propaganda of consumerism than any commercial.

Irrational decisions

As I mentioned in the very beginning, I love when films show various aspects of our lives from an enlightening point to teach how anything we do or say affects our lives. Like making mistakes or irrational decisions and then dealing with the aftermath. Again, that’s something we all deal with in our lives, cause no one’s perfect. But again, it becomes problematic when instead of implying that it’s wrong, that we should learn on our mistakes not to make them anymore, it gets romanticized (sorry for using this word too much in this post).

Like when a character is irresponsible, is always late, spends their last money on buying something totally unnecessary, constantly gets fired from various jobs… But films still manage to present that character as simply quirky expecting us to feel sympathetic. The most irritating part is when that character magically solves all the consequences of their irrational actions without learning anything. Some people think that’s what happens in real life as well, so they can go on and behave recklessly without having to pay for it. Which, we all know, isn’t the case.

The point of this post isn’t to advise not to watch this type of films ever again. Absolutely not. Some of my most favorite movies and series have plenty of storylines about everything discussed above. The most important part is to notice this “propaganda” and not fall for it. Don’t think that everything portrayed on screen automatically becomes normal and should be copied in real life. On the contrary, it can become a great lesson for what not to do. Because sometimes you don’t have to be the one making the mistake to learn from it. That’s what these stories are there for – to be our little guidelines on what’s right and wrong.