It’s been a while since I’ve made a post in here. The reason of my absence is quite simple: I don’t seem to have anything majorly important or inspiring I want to talk about now. You may call it a writer’s block or whatever. And if before I’d make myself rummage through my brain to find something worthy or relevant, now I just let it go, waiting for the idea to come to me naturally. And so it did. Or, to be more precise, my situation gave me a new topic to ponder about: is it worth doing something without a meaning and just for the sake of doing?

If I, for instance, don’t see the meaning of writing an article since I don’t have anything to talk about right now, should I still do it simply because “I have to”? Because I have to maintain this discipline thing every online guru urges people to keep? Because I consider myself a blogger, so I should keep up with the posts? Even if whatever I write will turn out kind of superficial because that’s not something that truly interests or fascinates me?

These questions took my wonderings to another, deeper level: what’s the right attitude in life, to do something because of the meaning or simply in the name of doing it? If you give it some thought, you’ll realize that the majority choose the second option. Just think about it: people go to events they find boring, simply because of FOMO. They watch a movie or read a book they know they won’t enjoy because it’s a new hit. They hang out with people they don’t really like for personal gain or not to feel lonely. They get have kids because everyone else is having them, and they don’t want to stay behind, even if they’re not ready to become parents. They go to university because that’s what you’re supposed to do after school, right? The examples are endless, but let’s give it a wrap.

If you stop for a second and question your every decision you may come to the saddening conclusion that you don’t want to do at least half of those things. And perhaps even have no idea why you’re doing it. To keep up with trends or your peers? To do the right thing? To maintain a certain image? I know for some people those are important as well, but is that really so? Maybe that’s why many people lose their spark, the ability to actually have fun and feel happy because they live in an autopilot mode. And it’s hard to enjoy something you don’t see the point of. You can fake it for others, you may even believe in that illusion yourself, but you’ll never be able to lie to your heart or your consciousness.

Same applies to goals. Why do so many people can’t seem to reach their goals? They often quit their healthy lifestyles with gyms and walking 10K steps a day, or reading a new book every week, or learning a new language because that’s simply not what they want to do. Once again, they do it for various shallow reasons, but the one true reason that would actually keep them going is missing. And that is the meaning, or, more precisely, its absence. Just compare your motivation for things you wholeheartedly want to do with what others make you think you want to do. In the first case, you actually stick to your plan, you work hard, you solve all the obstacles on the way. In the second case, every complication makes you give up on your goal because you didn’t even want it in the first place.

So, once again, the question is: is it better to do something with a meaning or just for the sake of doing it? I guess every person has to answer it themselves. Thinking about this topic and recalling my own experiences, I came to realize that I can’t do anything that’s meaningless to me. What I mistakenly used to call laziness, inactivity, a lack of motivation or courage, actually has a different, simpler explanation. This realization helped me understand myself and this complicated and multiple layered life a tiny bit better. And I hope it will help someone out there too.

p.s. even though I never stopped writing (cause that’s what I do for work), still I realized that I actually missed writing for my page. I don’t want to give any fake promises about the return of the regular posts, because right now I try to spend as much time off the screen as possible. Besides I want each of my articles to really mean something. At the end of the day that’s the point of this blog, to enjoy keeping it, and not considering it a heavy duty.