annmary0723

Why a Normal Life Isn’t Enough Today

One can constantly argue about the pros and cons of social media, as it sure has both. I have now come to talk about yet another downside of it: how having a simple, normal life is now considered boring and not enough today.

Everything started a couple of days ago, as I was browsing through the comments of a blogger, whom I have been watching for years now, truly enjoying her cozy content. And I was shocked to find lots of negative comments about how boring her life is and how small and not exciting her world is. People were mocking her for not doing anything grandiose, staying home instead of traveling the world or clubbing every other day, preferring to stay local and often going to the same places or doing similar activities. She was being called lazy, slop and many other words I can’t remember now.

That made me wonder: since when a simple life has become something to be mocked for? Why should a person feel ashamed to live how they want? The blogger I’m talking about is quite rich and if she wanted to, she could be, for instance, travel non-stop and do all these fun and crazy activities everyone is now showing off online. But instead she prefers her ordinary life, spending quality time with her children, family and friends, doing what she likes and enjoying her hobbies, so why isn’t that enough? And this isn’t the first case I’ve witnessed a simple life being made fun of.

Somehow we’ve reached the point where we have to have this luxurious life to impress others. All those fancy influencers convinced us that we should be constantly out there, doing something huge, that we should be living in perfectly renovated and clean houses that look Pinterest-worthy, wear a new outfit every single day, go to expensive restaurants, drink wine, eat exceptionally healthy and pretentious food, have cool cars and the latest iPhones… Everything other than that is considered lame, boring and not good enough. And somehow we took the bait, became manipulated to think that’s what a happy and successful life looks like.

I understand where that comes from. People always subconsciously expect an approval from others. We want to be accepted and loved because we’re social beings and that’s how our psychology works. Even if we claim that we don’t care what others think of us, to some extent we actually do, and that’s normal. But the thing is that years and decades ago, the group of people we had to “impress” was very small – relatives, friends, colleagues, maybe some neighbors and a few random acquaintances, and that’s it. Now, with the rise of social media, we have to impress the whole world, people that are no longer in our lives, and, most importantly, strangers we’ve never seen and will hardly ever do. If before people were mentally competing with, let’s say, their one cousin or schoolmate who was doing great in life, now we’re becoming “rivals” with popular influencers who present the image of a perfect life. Isn’t that weird? Or should I say pathetic?

And don’t think I’m this smart and flawless person who’s judging others. Absolutely not, I’m actually in the same boat. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that what I do is not enough because someone out there who’s my age or even younger is doing something bigger. Sometimes I even start imagining what if others look through my content and think my life is boring, just because I mostly post stuff from home or my nature walks, and I don’t have photos with millions of friends, at clubs or different fun events every weekend. I know it’s ridiculous. That’s when I start having these inner battles with my own self, when the “slightly wiser part of me” starts scolding the “idiot me” for thinking stupid things. And worrying about people I don’t know, people who don’t even care about me. The funny thing is that I actually enjoy my “boring” life. I love my job, I love having my own little rituals, the hobbies that fill my spare time, the days I spend alone and the ones I spend with my close people. And that really should be enough because that’s what matters the most. But the image of that successful and acceptable life created by social media keeps knocking on the door and trying to disturb my peace. And surely not just mine.

There is, however, a some positive change lately, and I’m actually glad that many people have started to realize the absurdity of this. There are now bloggers that romanticize the normal, slow life that consists of little moments and isn’t about something huge. These trends show life how it is, without the Instagram or Pinterest filters without playing pretend and promoting their fake perfect lives. Instead people show their ordinary houses that can look messy, old outfits and fun hobbies, talk about simple things that bring them joy. And I truly love it.

At the same time I understand how weird it is that we’ve reached the point where we are normalizing something that was initially normal. That we have to convince ourselves and others that “normal is normal” (sorry for overusing the word). That we post our personal moments and feel guilty about them not being perfect for the social media.

But it is what it is, that’s where our evolution as a humankind takes us, at least for now. And instead of fighting or complaining about how things are now, we should learn to live in harmony with the current reality, make mistakes, learn on those mistakes and become smarter no matter how hard it seems.

146 comments

  1. A very honest and meaningful observation.
    You’ve highlighted something many people feel but rarely express that a simple, peaceful life is often undervalued in today’s world of constant comparison. There is real beauty in ordinary moments, and they are often the ones that bring the deepest happiness. 🤍

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  2. Such a good and honest thought and observation. Social media is good and bad…depends nohow you use it. The word normal has turned into a negative thing for some people, that it’s forgotten that there are different types of normal that good and satisfied enough for some people. The simple life is a good thing as well

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  3. In the end a person should be able to follow his/her dreams and it doesn’t matte what kind of dream it is. It can be a life made of success or even a life simple without too many worries. A dream person should not be laughed.

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  4. Over 20 years of blogging I have had to learn to grow a thick skin. Someone once decided I was a trainwreck because part of what I talked about was a parenting challenge I faced repeatedly some years ago. He got some flack from my tribe in the comments (they protected me which was nice) which just egged him on, and he went on some of their blogs and insulted them too.

    We come here to write and form wordy relationships, and it takes some effort to focus on the good peeps when a bad apple appears…

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    • that’s so sad! I can never understand why people spend their time on hating or trolling others online. I’m glad that your community protected you, that says a lot about the bond we form in here

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  6. Thank you for your thoughts. I agree with the above, there is this need or idea that pushes us to think that what we do is not enough. But in the end it seems that we owe it to ourselves to simply do more, be more and own more. I do not fully agree with this, I believe, that even those people that seem to have it all (travel a lot/always doing something huge) also have those calm days. Days that they, too, hunger for, because at the end of the day, if you are always ‘on’ you are not still, not with yourself. This is a conversation to have, to discuss and to explore. But most importantly, being still, enjoying the silence and just being has its benefits and helps our bodies relax and just appreciate what surrounds us.

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    • you’re right! the picture they put on social media isn’t always 100% true, I’m sure they also have their bad days but simply don’t talk about it. and that’s why many think that those people live a perfect life which is far from reality

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  9. This resonated so deeply. There is something quietly unsettling about the fact that we now have to consciously remind ourselves that a simple, contented life is valid when not too long ago, that was simply just… life. The comparison pool has become impossibly vast, and you have articulated so honestly how exhausting and absurd that is. The inner battle between the “slightly wiser me” and the “idiot me” I think most of us know that battle very well. Thank you for putting it into words so beautifully

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  12. Comparison is really the thief of joy, like another blogger said recently, we all need to get comfortable knowing that we are ‘enough’ and what we have is ‘enough’. The trends are always going to change but being content is the key to freedom.

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  13. An excellent peace that caused me to think about the influence of social media. I for one glamorize my simple life and perhaps others looking on would think how boring 😄. But the simplest of things such as having a cup of your favourite tea on the veranda can bring inner peace.

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