annmary0723

Why a Normal Life Isn’t Enough Today

One can constantly argue about the pros and cons of social media, as it sure has both. I have now come to talk about yet another downside of it: how having a simple, normal life is now considered boring and not enough today.

Everything started a couple of days ago, as I was browsing through the comments of a blogger, whom I have been watching for years now, truly enjoying her cozy content. And I was shocked to find lots of negative comments about how boring her life is and how small and not exciting her world is. People were mocking her for not doing anything grandiose, staying home instead of traveling the world or clubbing every other day, preferring to stay local and often going to the same places or doing similar activities. She was being called lazy, slop and many other words I can’t remember now.

That made me wonder: since when a simple life has become something to be mocked for? Why should a person feel ashamed to live how they want? The blogger I’m talking about is quite rich and if she wanted to, she could be, for instance, travel non-stop and do all these fun and crazy activities everyone is now showing off online. But instead she prefers her ordinary life, spending quality time with her children, family and friends, doing what she likes and enjoying her hobbies, so why isn’t that enough? And this isn’t the first case I’ve witnessed a simple life being made fun of.

Somehow we’ve reached the point where we have to have this luxurious life to impress others. All those fancy influencers convinced us that we should be constantly out there, doing something huge, that we should be living in perfectly renovated and clean houses that look Pinterest-worthy, wear a new outfit every single day, go to expensive restaurants, drink wine, eat exceptionally healthy and pretentious food, have cool cars and the latest iPhones… Everything other than that is considered lame, boring and not good enough. And somehow we took the bait, became manipulated to think that’s what a happy and successful life looks like.

I understand where that comes from. People always subconsciously expect an approval from others. We want to be accepted and loved because we’re social beings and that’s how our psychology works. Even if we claim that we don’t care what others think of us, to some extent we actually do, and that’s normal. But the thing is that years and decades ago, the group of people we had to “impress” was very small – relatives, friends, colleagues, maybe some neighbors and a few random acquaintances, and that’s it. Now, with the rise of social media, we have to impress the whole world, people that are no longer in our lives, and, most importantly, strangers we’ve never seen and will hardly ever do. If before people were mentally competing with, let’s say, their one cousin or schoolmate who was doing great in life, now we’re becoming “rivals” with popular influencers who present the image of a perfect life. Isn’t that weird? Or should I say pathetic?

And don’t think I’m this smart and flawless person who’s judging others. Absolutely not, I’m actually in the same boat. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that what I do is not enough because someone out there who’s my age or even younger is doing something bigger. Sometimes I even start imagining what if others look through my content and think my life is boring, just because I mostly post stuff from home or my nature walks, and I don’t have photos with millions of friends, at clubs or different fun events every weekend. I know it’s ridiculous. That’s when I start having these inner battles with my own self, when the “slightly wiser part of me” starts scolding the “idiot me” for thinking stupid things. And worrying about people I don’t know, people who don’t even care about me. The funny thing is that I actually enjoy my “boring” life. I love my job, I love having my own little rituals, the hobbies that fill my spare time, the days I spend alone and the ones I spend with my close people. And that really should be enough because that’s what matters the most. But the image of that successful and acceptable life created by social media keeps knocking on the door and trying to disturb my peace. And surely not just mine.

There is, however, a some positive change lately, and I’m actually glad that many people have started to realize the absurdity of this. There are now bloggers that romanticize the normal, slow life that consists of little moments and isn’t about something huge. These trends show life how it is, without the Instagram or Pinterest filters without playing pretend and promoting their fake perfect lives. Instead people show their ordinary houses that can look messy, old outfits and fun hobbies, talk about simple things that bring them joy. And I truly love it.

At the same time I understand how weird it is that we’ve reached the point where we are normalizing something that was initially normal. That we have to convince ourselves and others that “normal is normal” (sorry for overusing the word). That we post our personal moments and feel guilty about them not being perfect for the social media.

But it is what it is, that’s where our evolution as a humankind takes us, at least for now. And instead of fighting or complaining about how things are now, we should learn to live in harmony with the current reality, make mistakes, learn on those mistakes and become smarter no matter how hard it seems.

109 comments

  1. We, I feel, often forget that we are all on our own separate paths in life. Though at times it may seem we are all on the same path or heading in the same direction, this is happening only for a brief moment. Many are jealous and will criticize those for what they are doing or not doing.
    I have often thought about the “what if” we lived closer, would we be friends?
    And what pray tell is “a normal life”? By whose standard is it measured? I feel, by what you have shared over the years, you have a normal life. And that is more than enough, in my view.

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    • agree! somehow many people think that their way of living is the only right one, while in reality I don’t think there is a universal right, each person has their own way to live. and I don’t like when people try to force their lifestyle on others, convincing that it’s the best.

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      • Many of the people in my life have actually discouraged me from building my own life path as a prospective entrepreneur, as many people think that their way of living creates stability and is thus the single path of life. I have never appreciated people asking if I am excited for a new stage of life “like everybody else.”

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      • that’s why it’s important to listen to your own heart and do what you want, no matter what others tell you. you can listen to their advice, think about it but still make the important life decisions on your own

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    • I also feel that I have missed out on opportunities to get to know many of the people that everybody else in my community has known in common, and it has always been bothersome to me, so I would agree with the idea that the “normal life” is no longer enough. People can get monetized on the spotlight through fame.

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      • I certainly know that feeling, but I also try to believe that what’s supposed to happen, will happen. and if it didn’t, there must have been a good reason for that, even if I don’t understand it now. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but it makes life easier and less troublesome ☺️

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  3. Unfortunately, most people no longer live a “normal” life, they simply show a copy taken from other people’s “successful” lives, without even suspecting that all this is simply imposed from the outside world to distract from real existence.

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    • you’re absolutely right! it is one of the biggest drawbacks of social media. it’s a lesson we need to learn – to live our lives without the constant online comparisons

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  4. On the other hand, there have been books written about decluttering, simplifying, downsizing, “there are no ordinary moments”. I’m for slowing down, being mindful, enjoying simple moments.

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  7. One of the reasons I like going to Pakistan is so I can get away from this artificial life. I barely use my phone there. Life is slow and authentic! There is no rush, no showing off, no race.

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  9. Hi Annmarie
    What is ‘normal’ depends on your surroundings. We would call our life ‘normal’. We have all we need. A house with a big garden, a fine library, and we can afford everything we want to have. We don’t do anything special, stay at home most of the time, and read. We don’t miss anything in our life. And so, a lot of people live around here. Maybe it’s a thing of age to be happy with what you have, and you don’t have to be special. Maybe that’s the paradox: it’s special not to be special.
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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    • I think you start appreciating your simple life more when you grow up. there’s just the age when you focus a little too much on others and compare yourself, but I guess we need to pass through it in order to learn to accept ourselves and our life choices and be grateful for everything we have!

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    • As novaTopFlex, I would definitely agree with this premise and with every quote involved from both the comments and the overarching story. I believe that it is difficult to learn to be happy with what you have, until you are fully settled and established. For someone like me, I would consider having a large network with many contacts and multiple unrelated settings to be relatively normal, and that is the paradox.

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      • that’s the thing, we need to learn to be grateful for what we have, even if it isn’t enough for now. because if we don’t, we’ll never appreciate and cherish having everything we’ve dreamed about and would still want something more

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      • it definitely doesn’t make you a lesser person! I know there’s an age where you compare yourself a lot and think that if you don’t do something your peers do, it makes you not good enough. but it’s important to remember that each person has their own path and pace, and it doesn’t make one better or worse than another

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  11. I agree with this. There’s nothing wrong with choosing a life that isn’t curated for strangers online. It’s strange that people feel the need to tear down someone who’s just living in a way that makes sense to them. A normal life isn’t boring — it’s just not being performed, and that seems to bother people more than it should.

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    • we’re so used to seeing the image of a “perfect” life, that somehow anything less than that seems bad or wrong, and that’s really sad 😢

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  12. When I post self care blogs and blogs that reflect slow living, I don’t get many views. It’s sad. Most want the fast life, cars, money, fame, fancy house.

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    • true, the majority is still running like a hamster in a wheel. but I can also see a positive change in the recent years, there are more people understanding the importance of slow life and self care, and I’m really glad about that🤍

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  15. Some people take themselves too seriously when they chase the next crazy experience to impress others. You’re right about the exposure and information overload (thinking back to my grandparents’ generation and the few interactions they would have daily).

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    • there was actually a study that showed how much information people used to get and how much they get now, and I don’t remember the exact numbers, but the difference is huge-huge. that’s why there are so many people struggling with anxiety and other mental issues, because our brains simply aren’t used to that amount of information, most of which is usually negative

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  16. I agree with you on so many levels! I gave up social media earlier this year because I found myself playing the comparison game. I also enjoy the simple life, and I encourage anybody who is tempted to step away from social media to do it. It has given me more peace and I’m now more satisfied with my normal life. Thanks for sharing.

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    • thank you! that’s a great decision! I sometimes take digital detoxes and I unfollow any blogger who makes me feel insecure or bad about my life, because I want to use internet and social media for my benefit, to get inspired, learn something or simply laugh. and I don’t want anything that will cause me any kind of negativity.

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  18. Love it! Learn to find contentment in what you have. Love your life now, wherever you find yourself. Then you will spend time chasing after things that compliment your life and what you have instead of chasing after things that complicate them. I’m glad I found myself on your site, today.

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  20. “The funny thing is that I actually enjoy my “boring” life. I love my job, I love having my own little rituals, the hobbies that fill my spare time, the days I spend alone and the ones I spend with my close people.”
    Not funny at all! Mindful, meaningful and focused on things that actually matter and will make you feel fulfilled.

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    • thanks! I used the word “funny” because I still sometimes find myself comparing my life with others, even though I tend to enjoy it. so it’s a little ironic😂

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  21. Very poignant. The thing about finding joy is that it is often right there but overlooked, ignored or thought to be dependent on some certain external entity. (you know of what I speak.) But as I read your post and thought of how I would like to share and connect, an abundance of normal, boring things filled my heart. The windows are open here in the kitchen and the wind is playing the chimes and cooling me. Sparrows are bathing. You can smell the flowers in the yard. We are going to go and water. Maybe we will have dinner. I will read later. Fall asleep. Wake up, and look out the window and imagine the normal, boring things I will do in the yard and with others. It saddens me that so many are so misguided as to think it comes from some thing, some place, or some one. It all starts in us. And hopefully when it is my time, I will look back and embrace the joy I found in my boring, normal life. Well put ! Keep writing and inspiring us. Thank you!

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    • thanks so much! I really appreciate your kind words! and you’re absolutely right, we often don’t see and appreciate what we have, and only understand its value when we lose it. so it’s important to savor every single moment. like the ones you so beautifully described!

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  22. This is a great post and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Very relatable and I have to say, I do like having a boring life. I love my daily routine for a few months, then I I need a holiday to reset and make my appreciate again my daily routine. I always think, other people would crave to have a good job, a roof over their head, clean air to breathe and water to drink, how lucky are we. It’s good to think, in the past you had craved what you now have and worked so hard for.

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    • thanks so much! I think it’s okay that sometimes we can feel a little bored from the same repetitive routine and want to take a break, do something new and exciting. it doesn’t mean not loving your life, it’s simply a change of scenery or activities that is always beneficial ☺️

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  23. Yes the simple things are lovely. We have a terrible way of over-complicating life. Best to trust your true feelings not what we are told and sold. Keep being you 💚

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  25. Life is changing all around us. For some, it’s not a pleasant change. No matter what change you are experiencing, all of us are in this movement together. From the wild west to the industrial revolution, we all went through some change. Now today we are in an era of homelessness, drugs and violence. If anyone has noticed, in the 1970’s we had std’s, such as VD. The 90’s brought us aids, and the diseases keep multiplying and getting more deadly as each decade passes. We have had to adjust our lives to be able to survive during these changes. I also believe that history repeats itself. Just as in Greek and Roman times, they put people in coliseums to be attacked by lions. Today The Packers play the Lions in football withing stadiums.
    I believe we are in the Wild West era right now. Shootings everywhere, lawlessness. Many of us will live through this era, many won’t. I believe…because of the technology era, it is separating us. We used to stop and talk with people, now we are too distracted from personal entertainment devices to notice and find out about the person standing next to you. Just my thoughts early in the morning.

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    • I agree with your thoughts! both, about the history repeating itself, and how technologies have changed us and keep making us more isolated and alone. and that’s sad

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  26. Heyy ! Thank you for reminding all of us that “normal is normal”. As an aspiring blogger myself, I do worry about what others might think about me and what kind of image will be created, yet I write and express my original thoughts because it gives me the utmost satisfaction. Thank you for writing this piece !!

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    • thank you! don’t ever worry about that! we already have tonnes of bloggers who all seem to share the same lifestyles, thoughts and everything. so it’s always nice to see a person who lives or thinks differently. it’s like a breath of fresh air. so keep on being you and doing what you enjoy, that’s the most important thing in life🤍

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  28. Great post. As long as one is content and there is nothing one needs to prove to others, outside noise and perceptions doesn’t matter.

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  29. Hi Annmary, one of my posts was ‘discovered’ by WP so I popped in to see who else had been. I’ve been in the IT world before there was such a thing as the internet as we know it and I’m not sure it has all been for the good. When things like MySpace and Friends United appeared it seemed a great way to reconnect with old friends and family, but as we know it hasn’t remained that way. I am probably one of the few who has never been tempted onto FB or Instagram or even Pinterest and definitely not X or TikTok. I can’t understand why so many (usually younger) people seem to think other ‘influencers’ know best. So much misinformation out there. In fact apart from my WP blogs and ones I follow and the occasional visit to YouTube I lead a very non digital life. Normal? Boring? It’s whatever makes you happy – I have never been one to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ and always gone my own way through life.

    As for what made you write this post I think it is shameful that people feel they have the right to be cruel and nasty and negative. If you haven’t anything good to say, then keep quiet.

    Jude xx

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    • I have to admit that I do have different social media pages but I still try to be as present as possible, doing digital detoxes and not spending all my free time in these sites. Though sometimes I fail haha 😂
      and I absolutely agree, I will never understand internet trolls and haters as well. if you don’t like something, simply ignore it, why waste your time on writing something negative?

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  31. I think this is only a problem if viewed through social media. I get bent about normies working to make other people and politicians rich and powerful, but that’s completely different than mocking someone for gardening or scrapbooking or spending time with the kids.

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    • I understand that! there are some things we can not agree with or not understand, but it’s weird when people make fun of others for their hobbies or interests

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  32. That’s rather interesting take and I think social media has a tendency to do that. Everybody’s life is glorious and full of travel and glitz.

    It’s just a modern day version of beat the Joneses.

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    • that’s the problem, if a couple decades ago we only had a few “Joneses” to keep up with or compete, now it seems like we have to beat the whole world, without even knowing these people, or whether or not their shown images are true.

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  33. I totally 100% relate to what you are saying because. I was an enthusiastic of IG but then I realised most of the account professing simple life it was a pretence to hide a related business. Only few authentic out there and they do not look to be influencer with influencer number or they do not try to sell you a course to live a simple life.
    Also I think that once we stopped comparing to others( and by experience I know it’s much easier said that done, that is it we will be happy in our shoes because they are our shoes, those we choose and fits us . Fir years I felt I had to justify my choice( that I admitted was not even a choice in the beginning) to stay at home like looking after your family and home
    Is less than working 30 hours in an office while a stranger welcome home your kids from school. But not anymore, no more I feel ashamed to be happy to be a housewife and a mother, actually on the contrary I feel blessed and privileged I can do what make me happy.it might not what make someone else happy but it does make me happy and as far as I know women fought for the freedom
    To chose and that’s what we should do without fear of being judged whether it is yo go to work outside the house or to stay at home, sadly in today world the latter is far underrated and negatively judged. Sadly I feel sometimes all those critics and nasty comments might come more from jealousness than else. I really hope your blogger friend is ok and not to bother by the bad comments . There nothing more extraordinary than the ordinary . 💕

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    • thanks, and thanks for telling your story! that’s actually sad that we’ve reached the point where being a mother, a wife is being teased of judged. as you mentioned, we (as all women in the world) worked really hard for years and centuries to get the freedom to choose what kind of life we want, to make our own decisions. if someone wants a career and nothing more, that’s really great, but it doesn’t meant that the other women who prefer not to work and take care of their families are somehow worse or wrong.
      I’m really glad that you realized this and now are enjoying your life. that’s the most important thing in life, to do what you love and not care about what everyone thinks about it🤍

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  34. Good Morning! Today is not a good day for me too. I was sad because i missed the fire station 51’s pancake breakfast.

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  35. What people proclaim is a normal life is not normal to those that experience very different things that make it very different looking theough their eyes. Like a matter of perspective.

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  36. I really appreciated this post. It’s sad that a simple, contented life is often viewed as “not enough” today. Some of the happiest and most meaningful moments happen in ordinary routines, time with family, quiet hobbies, and everyday blessings. Social media can make us feel like we’re falling behind, but comparison is a poor measure of a good life. Thank you for the reminder that there is beauty, value, and joy in living simply and being content with what God has given us.

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  37. I agree with you. Thank-you for saying this in the most simple beautiful way possible. At least I know that my ordinary life is not less than I used to think it is.

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  41. I think what makes a “normal life” feel insufficient today isn’t that normal is bad. It’s that we’re constantly being shown someone else’s highlight reel and told that’s what success looks like.

    A lot of my memoir “Samajhdaar Nahi Hoon” comes from realizing that I spent years trying to become the version of myself that would make everyone else comfortable. The perfect job, the perfect decisions, the perfect timeline. Exhausting, honestly.

    Maybe the problem isn’t that a normal life isn’t enough. Maybe it’s that we’ve forgotten how to value ordinary moments because we’re too busy chasing extraordinary validation.

    Most people aren’t unhappy because they don’t have enough. They’re unhappy because they think they should be someone else.

    My book Samajhdaar Nahi Hoon is live on Amazon & Flipkart. It would genuinely mean a lot if you grabbed a copy. Here is the link:
    Flipkart : https://www.flipkart.com/product/p/itme?pid=9789362499585
    Amazon : https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0H1175B9R
    And if you know someone who would connect with it, please share with them as well :–))

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    • you’re absolutely right! I especially loved this sentence: “we’ve forgotten how to value ordinary moments because we’re too busy chasing extraordinary validation”, because it’s so beautifully said!

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  43. I’m glad I stepped away social media and find more peace. My life seems boring to some people, but I enjoyed this simplicity. This is so relatable, Ann! Awesome.

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  44. Love the site! I blog about the New York Mets, mets-madness.com feel free to check out my blog, this link is the correct one if you scroll all the way down on my blog you can subscribe, can you please follow mine too? Let’s help each other grow! -Mikayla Scotlynd Littrell, MetsMadness.

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  45. There is nothing normal about life but social media has made it unreliable. I mean what we see should be taken with a grain of salt as they say. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Love the community

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