annmary0723

Why a Normal Life Isn’t Enough Today

One can constantly argue about the pros and cons of social media, as it sure has both. I have now come to talk about yet another downside of it: how having a simple, normal life is now considered boring and not enough today.

Everything started a couple of days ago, as I was browsing through the comments of a blogger, whom I have been watching for years now, truly enjoying her cozy content. And I was shocked to find lots of negative comments about how boring her life is and how small and not exciting her world is. People were mocking her for not doing anything grandiose, staying home instead of traveling the world or clubbing every other day, preferring to stay local and often going to the same places or doing similar activities. She was being called lazy, slop and many other words I can’t remember now.

That made me wonder: since when a simple life has become something to be mocked for? Why should a person feel ashamed to live how they want? The blogger I’m talking about is quite rich and if she wanted to, she could be, for instance, travel non-stop and do all these fun and crazy activities everyone is now showing off online. But instead she prefers her ordinary life, spending quality time with her children, family and friends, doing what she likes and enjoying her hobbies, so why isn’t that enough? And this isn’t the first case I’ve witnessed a simple life being made fun of.

Somehow we’ve reached the point where we have to have this luxurious life to impress others. All those fancy influencers convinced us that we should be constantly out there, doing something huge, that we should be living in perfectly renovated and clean houses that look Pinterest-worthy, wear a new outfit every single day, go to expensive restaurants, drink wine, eat exceptionally healthy and pretentious food, have cool cars and the latest iPhones… Everything other than that is considered lame, boring and not good enough. And somehow we took the bait, became manipulated to think that’s what a happy and successful life looks like.

I understand where that comes from. People always subconsciously expect an approval from others. We want to be accepted and loved because we’re social beings and that’s how our psychology works. Even if we claim that we don’t care what others think of us, to some extent we actually do, and that’s normal. But the thing is that years and decades ago, the group of people we had to “impress” was very small – relatives, friends, colleagues, maybe some neighbors and a few random acquaintances, and that’s it. Now, with the rise of social media, we have to impress the whole world, people that are no longer in our lives, and, most importantly, strangers we’ve never seen and will hardly ever do. If before people were mentally competing with, let’s say, their one cousin or schoolmate who was doing great in life, now we’re becoming “rivals” with popular influencers who present the image of a perfect life. Isn’t that weird? Or should I say pathetic?

And don’t think I’m this smart and flawless person who’s judging others. Absolutely not, I’m actually in the same boat. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that what I do is not enough because someone out there who’s my age or even younger is doing something bigger. Sometimes I even start imagining what if others look through my content and think my life is boring, just because I mostly post stuff from home or my nature walks, and I don’t have photos with millions of friends, at clubs or different fun events every weekend. I know it’s ridiculous. That’s when I start having these inner battles with my own self, when the “slightly wiser part of me” starts scolding the “idiot me” for thinking stupid things. And worrying about people I don’t know, people who don’t even care about me. The funny thing is that I actually enjoy my “boring” life. I love my job, I love having my own little rituals, the hobbies that fill my spare time, the days I spend alone and the ones I spend with my close people. And that really should be enough because that’s what matters the most. But the image of that successful and acceptable life created by social media keeps knocking on the door and trying to disturb my peace. And surely not just mine.

There is, however, a some positive change lately, and I’m actually glad that many people have started to realize the absurdity of this. There are now bloggers that romanticize the normal, slow life that consists of little moments and isn’t about something huge. These trends show life how it is, without the Instagram or Pinterest filters without playing pretend and promoting their fake perfect lives. Instead people show their ordinary houses that can look messy, old outfits and fun hobbies, talk about simple things that bring them joy. And I truly love it.

At the same time I understand how weird it is that we’ve reached the point where we are normalizing something that was initially normal. That we have to convince ourselves and others that “normal is normal” (sorry for overusing the word). That we post our personal moments and feel guilty about them not being perfect for the social media.

But it is what it is, that’s where our evolution as a humankind takes us, at least for now. And instead of fighting or complaining about how things are now, we should learn to live in harmony with the current reality, make mistakes, learn on those mistakes and become smarter no matter how hard it seems.

44 comments

  1. We, I feel, often forget that we are all on our own separate paths in life. Though at times it may seem we are all on the same path or heading in the same direction, this is happening only for a brief moment. Many are jealous and will criticize those for what they are doing or not doing.
    I have often thought about the “what if” we lived closer, would we be friends?
    And what pray tell is “a normal life”? By whose standard is it measured? I feel, by what you have shared over the years, you have a normal life. And that is more than enough, in my view.

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    • agree! somehow many people think that their way of living is the only right one, while in reality I don’t think there is a universal right, each person has their own way to live. and I don’t like when people try to force their lifestyle on others, convincing that it’s the best.

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      • Many of the people in my life have actually discouraged me from building my own life path as a prospective entrepreneur, as many people think that their way of living creates stability and is thus the single path of life. I have never appreciated people asking if I am excited for a new stage of life “like everybody else.”

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      • that’s why it’s important to listen to your own heart and do what you want, no matter what others tell you. you can listen to their advice, think about it but still make the important life decisions on your own

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    • I also feel that I have missed out on opportunities to get to know many of the people that everybody else in my community has known in common, and it has always been bothersome to me, so I would agree with the idea that the “normal life” is no longer enough. People can get monetized on the spotlight through fame.

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      • I certainly know that feeling, but I also try to believe that what’s supposed to happen, will happen. and if it didn’t, there must have been a good reason for that, even if I don’t understand it now. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but it makes life easier and less troublesome ☺️

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  3. Unfortunately, most people no longer live a “normal” life, they simply show a copy taken from other people’s “successful” lives, without even suspecting that all this is simply imposed from the outside world to distract from real existence.

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    • you’re absolutely right! it is one of the biggest drawbacks of social media. it’s a lesson we need to learn – to live our lives without the constant online comparisons

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  4. On the other hand, there have been books written about decluttering, simplifying, downsizing, “there are no ordinary moments”. I’m for slowing down, being mindful, enjoying simple moments.

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  7. One of the reasons I like going to Pakistan is so I can get away from this artificial life. I barely use my phone there. Life is slow and authentic! There is no rush, no showing off, no race.

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  9. Hi Annmarie
    What is ‘normal’ depends on your surroundings. We would call our life ‘normal’. We have all we need. A house with a big garden, a fine library, and we can afford everything we want to have. We don’t do anything special, stay at home most of the time, and read. We don’t miss anything in our life. And so, a lot of people live around here. Maybe it’s a thing of age to be happy with what you have, and you don’t have to be special. Maybe that’s the paradox: it’s special not to be special.
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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    • I think you start appreciating your simple life more when you grow up. there’s just the age when you focus a little too much on others and compare yourself, but I guess we need to pass through it in order to learn to accept ourselves and our life choices and be grateful for everything we have!

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    • As novaTopFlex, I would definitely agree with this premise and with every quote involved from both the comments and the overarching story. I believe that it is difficult to learn to be happy with what you have, until you are fully settled and established. For someone like me, I would consider having a large network with many contacts and multiple unrelated settings to be relatively normal, and that is the paradox.

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      • that’s the thing, we need to learn to be grateful for what we have, even if it isn’t enough for now. because if we don’t, we’ll never appreciate and cherish having everything we’ve dreamed about and would still want something more

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      • it definitely doesn’t make you a lesser person! I know there’s an age where you compare yourself a lot and think that if you don’t do something your peers do, it makes you not good enough. but it’s important to remember that each person has their own path and pace, and it doesn’t make one better or worse than another

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  11. I agree with this. There’s nothing wrong with choosing a life that isn’t curated for strangers online. It’s strange that people feel the need to tear down someone who’s just living in a way that makes sense to them. A normal life isn’t boring — it’s just not being performed, and that seems to bother people more than it should.

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    • we’re so used to seeing the image of a “perfect” life, that somehow anything less than that seems bad or wrong, and that’s really sad 😢

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  12. When I post self care blogs and blogs that reflect slow living, I don’t get many views. It’s sad. Most want the fast life, cars, money, fame, fancy house.

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    • true, the majority is still running like a hamster in a wheel. but I can also see a positive change in the recent years, there are more people understanding the importance of slow life and self care, and I’m really glad about that🤍

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  15. Some people take themselves too seriously when they chase the next crazy experience to impress others. You’re right about the exposure and information overload (thinking back to my grandparents’ generation and the few interactions they would have daily).

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    • there was actually a study that showed how much information people used to get and how much they get now, and I don’t remember the exact numbers, but the difference is huge-huge. that’s why there are so many people struggling with anxiety and other mental issues, because our brains simply aren’t used to that amount of information, most of which is usually negative

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  16. I agree with you on so many levels! I gave up social media earlier this year because I found myself playing the comparison game. I also enjoy the simple life, and I encourage anybody who is tempted to step away from social media to do it. It has given me more peace and I’m now more satisfied with my normal life. Thanks for sharing.

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    • thank you! that’s a great decision! I sometimes take digital detoxes and I unfollow any blogger who makes me feel insecure or bad about my life, because I want to use internet and social media for my benefit, to get inspired, learn something or simply laugh. and I don’t want anything that will cause me any kind of negativity.

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