Watching a tv show called “Normal People” made me think about a very infamous topic: why do people love romanticizing toxic relationships in books and movies so much?

There are now lots of stories about couples who are completely wrong for each other. They control one another, become jealous and codependent, don’t seem to have anything in common, don’t even love each other, but somehow the audience thinks that’s an example of a perfect relationship. Whereas there’s a huge difference between facing difficulties in relationships and trying to overcome them together in order to become better and more mature and being completely not compatible.

Sometimes I like seeing such couples in books and movies too but only as an example of how a relationship should not be, like a warning or something. But sadly in reality lots of people, especially young girls and boys, watch these type of films and romanticize such relationships, hereby attracting it into their lives. But once they themselves get in a toxic relationship, it becomes a huge problem, because suddenly they find out that apparently it’s not really that cool.

It doesn’t always rain when you break up for the hundredths of time, there’s no sad, but nice music that plays in the air, your partner doesn’t always realize that he can’t live without you and runs through the rain to apologize. In reality you just get emotionally drained and it leaves lots of trauma which makes it harder to start new and healthy relationships. Or you just get forever stuck in an unhealthy one, creating yet another unhappy family with another traumatized kid.

And it doesn’t necessarily concern a romantic relationship. People love unhealthy friends as well, thinking that they’re literally friendships goals (like Serena and Blair from “Gossip Girl”) and dreaming about having a friend like that. And then wonder why they don’t have any real, sincere and supportive friends who’d always be there for them no matter what.

So why do people love romanticizing toxic relationships? I don’t have an answer for that really. Maybe they lack the splash of all those feelings and emotions. They love the passion they see on TV, and think that that’s how a real relationship should be. Maybe they don’t see the difference between love and lust. Besides, according to some psychological studies, we often create or attract problems into our lives ourselves, because our brains constantly need issues and complicated situations to solve and difficulties to overcome. Maybe that’s the reason why. There can be lots of maybes, but somehow I don’t have a ready answer for my own question yet. Just thought this was an interesting topic to ponder about.