Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time with my little cousins, and besides having fun, I was also studying children’s behavior, comparing them with us, adults, and trying to understand how we grow up to be such a mess.
I think I’ve discussed a similar topic, that kids don’t need anything specific to be happy. They don’t need tonnes of toys. They can get happy from seeing a rainbow, going to a grocery store, visiting their relatives, even those, whom they don’t see for months and years. Everything excites them, every little things feels like a great adventure, they’re just happy to be alive. And then, of course, we ruin them.
You know to what other conclusion I came this time? Kids don’t complicate their lives like we do. They don’t care, if it’s too hot or too cold outside. Have you ever met a kid, who’ll say “oh no, I don’t want to go out and play cause it’s too sunny or snowy”? They won’t, unless they’re already spoiled by their parents or others. They won’t sit and complain about high or low temperature, like we do, they’ll just do what they always do-have fun and not care, no matter the weather. Kids don’t feel bad, when they’re hungry or thirsty. When they’re so involved in sth, in a game, for instance, they don’t even notice, that they haven’t eaten for hours. They don’t get headaches from spending too much time watching TV or playing on computer, they don’t suddenly feel blue or feel dizzy because the weather’s changing, they don’t feel moody and depressed, because another planet is being in retrograde. They don’t, and we didn’t at some point, a long time ago. So how did we end up being like this?
All because later in our lives we start learning all this crap about how different things can affect us physically or even mentally, we start seeing hostility and danger in everything. Our parents, teachers and society in general tell us that everything is bad, harmful for us. And that’s our number one problem and difference from kids: they don’t see this world and its inhabitants as enemies. We do.
But that’s not our fault. It’s our parents’. I don’t specifically mean your parents, or mine, but in general, all our ancestors. I don’t know from which point in our long-long history, people forgot what it means to be a kid, a careless and jolly spirit, and decided that we want to suffer instead. Do you realize, that 99% of our problems we created ourselves? It just feels like whatever we do, wherever we go, we screw things up, make a chaos and live in it.
So I absolutely agree, when psychologists say, that most of our trauma come from childhood. Because that’s the period when kids are the most vulnerable and fragile, they trust everyone, especially their close people. And what do these people? Break the kids. Not intentionally, obviously. When parents tell their children “you haven’t eaten for hours, you’re going to feel bad“, they don’t actually want it to happen. They act on their own prejudices and negative beliefs. All parents want the best for their children, but sadly most of them don’t understand what’s actually good for them.
In reality, kids just want to be kids. To be wild, young and free. To have as much fun as possible, to have thousands of mini-adventures. To live, laugh, love and feel loved. That’s what they need. Nothing more.
These past couple of weeks spending with children made me understand lots of things. I saw the sparkles in their eyes, even when they were doing the most mundane things. I kind of tried to see things from their perspective, and it actually changed mine a little. No, not changed, but brought back, to be more precise. I remembered myself, when I was little, got to reminisce about my own vision and worldview of life at that time. Remembered how simple, peaceful, fun and exciting everything felt. That’s how life should have been for everyone.
So, a little advice – instead of scolding, yelling at your kids, instead of being irritated and annoyed at their active energy, loud voices or small mistakes, just try to observe them more closely. Doesn’t matter who it is- your own kids, younger siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces or even neighbor’s children. Instead of teaching them how to be grownups so early, try to learn from them how be like kids. By that I don’t literally mean go play with dolls or cars, no, just try to see and perceive your life like they do. Life’s complicated itself, so why won’t we try to make it a little easier and more enjoyable for ourselves?
I sometimes feel sorry for today’s children, they have everything or much, except for a happy childhood and understanding parents who allow children to be just children and do not plan their future from the cradle.😟 Good post😍
thank you! ♥️ sadly you are right! people think that they can show they their love with toys, which is wrong
Granted that kids are just kids, but I have seen anger in children that would result in murder if they knew how. There are also instances of lust or greed and complete selfishness, total absorption into “I want it and I want it NOW.” We are born in sin, even conceived as sinners according to Psalm 51:5. (I.e., one is a human from the point of conception.)
While it is important to recognize children’s limited experience, we must train those over whom we have responsibility (note: “responsibility” not authority) to be loving, kind, and considerate.
These “adult” attitudes will not develop automatically in children, but must be instilled by the adults around them. Check out “Lord of the Flies” for what happens when children are left to themselves without positive adult influences.
I recall a cartoon where a child was complaining, “I finally figured out ownership, and then they introduced ‘sharing!’ Life just isn’t fair.” 😅
thanks for your comment! I really love the “responsibility, not authority” part, which is really true! of course there are exceptions in everything! even in the sweetest sort of apples you can always find one that is bitter,, same with people,, we do have negative traits, but I think that some of those kids that you described are already negatively affected by their parents, that’s why they act like brats
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Anita discovered the concept of “original sin” when she babysat for missionaries’ children, ages 2 months to 4-year-olds.
A child would be contentedly playing with a toy … until another child came in and picked up a different to with which to play. Suddenly THAT was the toy child one would WANT!😠😡 A screaming fit would ensue as the children battled for THAT toy, even though there were plenty of others.🙄
Children are not “innocent” as most like to think! They are simply incompetent at making THEIR wills prevail.
Thankfully, good parents and teachers train them in the Way they should go. Without that training anarchy would reign.
This is what is happening in society today. People are becoming childlike again and lack training to be civil, so with size, intelligence and power they want to force their will on others.
yes, sadly there are such children as well! and it would be great of all parents did everything to “put their children on the right path”, rather than trying to make up for their ambitions and unrealized dreams
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Indeed kids enjoy themselves… Which we should promote. With encouragements. “Well done!” works fine.
It also implies that we must be faithful to the child we were. I will always be faithful to the little 8 year-old boy I was,… 😉
How were you as an 8 year-old little girl?
that’s really amazing! I was more open and trusting, more extroverted than I am now,, but I still try to see the beauty and good in life, just like I used to, and try not to “betray” my dreams 😄
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Yep. That’s the idea… 👏🏻
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Very Good point and you made good observation…thanks for sharing this…
How r you Ann…
thanks a lot! I’m fine thanks, how are you?