“right here, right now,
I put the offer out…”
Great, now I’m stuck with this song in my head, though this post has nothing to do with the Greatest Showman, which is a wonderful movie btw. Okay now, back to the point.
Today happens to be one of those great realization moments, which usually comes when I ask a question that bothers me, and I myself find the answer. Today’s question was, why anxious thoughts come to me out of the blue? Because thoughts of the future keep passing my mind, that’s why. After analyzing things as usual, I realized another fact, which again I’d known for a loong time before. Most of our problems come from the fact that we live either in past or in future. As my mom says, our fears come from our past, our anxiety comes from the future, and it’s so freaking true. All our emotions, especially the bad ones disturb us because we don’t live in present. In my case it’s a little different and maybe more complicated, but I think a lot of people can join me with this. Imagine that your past is on the left, your present’s in the middle, and future on the right. Imagine it as a long path. What I did is that I built another road or a bridge that connects my past, especially all the bad things that happened with the future with its uncertainty and confusion. And I was officially a resident of that bridge or road that I created outside the present point. I hope this makes sense to you. And I’ve doing it for years and years, since I was a child I can say for sure. Now understanding it, whenever my mind runs to either past or future, I always take its hand and bring back to now. It’s not always easy, but that’s the only thing we can do. When you worry about sth for the nearest future, always try to come back to this very moment, right here, right now. That’s what I do. I speak with myself, I’m here, in my room, for instance, I feel good, I don’t have anything to do or decide, so just enjoy being here.
People are ungrateful. We don’t appreciate what we have now. We always compare, seek for the “bright future”, thinking that later everything will be just the way we want, but it never will, unless you change your attitude now. I’ve realized this a few times. It hits me every time, when I miss a period of my life, when I’m not sincerely happy with it and I think that I won’t have any great memories from those days. But then, when time passes, even if it’s a few months, I always feel very nostalgic and want to re-live that period once again. And I reckon that I’m not the only one like that.
What I’m trying to say, is to appreciate everything you have. I always say this, I think I’ve written it a couple of times, but still, be thankful for what you have, even if you think that what you have is not enough, or not ideal. Life consists of small things, that can make you happy even for a moment or an hour. Don’t exchange those things for sth greater in future. Remember it won’t come. Actually, it will come, but you won’t notice it, cause again you’ll have your eyes on the future. And that circle goes unbroken through our entire lives.
So just try to live for now, feel infinite for now, feel like you have neither past nor future, you’re just here. Every moment your life may end, so always make sure that the last moments of it you’d be happy, calm and in harmony with everything. Write down every good thing you have now. If you want to go to the past, okay then remember and write down all the great things that happened to you, all your amazing memories. If you go to the future, then just dream aimlessly, dream like a child, how you do sth that may even seem impossible. Just dream, without planning, without expectations. And always remember to bring your thoughts and mind back to the present time, because that’s really what you have.