I always write something positive in my blogs, but I cant do it right now, because I dont feel it in my soul. I dont want to pretend that everything is good when it isnt, even if the reason is small, or at least smaller than it could be. No, I dont fall in love with a person who doesnt love me. I dont have problems with either my parents or my friends. I have problems with myself. For a moment I just feel lost. Lost in this life, lost in my dreams or aims or something else. I dont know whether you have such feeling, when externally everything is ok, but inside you everything sucks. I cant describe it, though I am still trying to do it.



I dont know what I want to do in my life. I am learning some bullshit in my university but I dont feel that it is mine, neither do I feel what is mine and what I need. So complicated…
I have some dreams but there is no aim and power to fulfill them, because I know what I want but I dont know why. Maybe I am repeatimg the same words and expressions again and again but it is what happening in my mind.. There is no purpose or something else in this blog, I just feel like I need to share my emotions somewhere and I thought it would help. Which didnt.





  1. Hey, Annmary, my name is Amber. I read your blog, and I have to say that I really do know how you feel. Reading your entry was like bringing back my old thoughts from just over a year ago, while I was in my first year of college. Everything in my life was set and good, I was at a good school, no family problems, I had a ton of friends, but for some reason I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel motivated to do… well, anything, and my grades and relationships suffered, and I just went spiraling downhill. I got lost inside myself as well. Right now I’m actually serving as a missionary for my church in Boston, and it took a while, but I found hope and purpose for my life again in my service to God. I would really really love to talk to you more about what I learned that helped my find myself again, because if it worked for me I believe it could for you as well, if you want to try it. My email is wavesofgrain94@gmail.com, if you want to shoot me a message. Just keep on trying, okay? You’re not alone, I promise.


    • Hi, thank you very much for your response, it’s really good to know that somewhere are people who are like you or just have the same problems, and they can overcome it. I just feel depressed but I hope that things will be good for me. But it will be great to communicate with each other..I dont have mail, but I have Twitter and Instagram, and if you have any of these, find me by name annmary0723. I will be happy to have a new long-distance friend 🙂


      • Hey, Annmary!! Thanks for responding! Unfortunately I don’t havae either of those accounts :P. Do you have an email that you use with this blog? Maybe you could use that to send me an email. Or do you have facebook?


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