You have probably heard about the importance of living in the present and not getting stuck in the past or always looking forward to the future. But did you know that there’s an official term for this phenomenon called “Delayed Life Syndrome”? I reckon the name is pretty much self-explanatory but I’ll give the definition anyway: it’s when people keep delaying living their lives, fulfilling their dreams and just being happy and wait for the perfect opportunity to come. And the most ironic part is that it rarely does.

This isn’t a diagnose, merely a mindset that I’m pretty sure most people have. Recently I realized that I also postpone some things waiting for a better moment. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be about big and significant decisions in life. Let me explain it better on the recent insight I had.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you probably know how much I love autumn. It never seems enough for me, cause it comes and goes too quickly and every year I don’t enjoy it as much as I’d love to. Especially since proper autumn arrives quite late in Armenia (around mid-October), and it’s hard to tune into the cozy mood, when the trees are still green and it’s still either hot or very warm outside. So, every year I’d wait for the leaves to turn yellow, for the cloudy days to arrive in order to start doing some autumnal activities or watching autumnal movies. However this year something went wrong (or right, to be more precise), and I started “enjoying autumn” since early September. Despite the weather, despite the colors of the trees or the sky. I even watched a couple of Halloween films in September, which has never happened before. I always kept postponing doing the things that I love to a better, “more autumnal” moment. But guess what, when that moment would finally arrive, I’d either not feel as excited as I did a few weeks before, or I’d have so much going on already, that I’d simply not manage to find the right time for my favorite activities.

And that’s when it hit me, that the delayed life syndrome doesn’t only come in big things. It’s all about the little things that seem not that essential at first sight, but they’re the ones that make the majority of our lives. By constantly delaying them, we simply don’t live, we keep waiting and imagining how fun it’d be once we finally start doing what we want.

How to overcome this syndrome? Well, understanding and accepting the fact that you have one is the first and most important step. Then it’s time for some action. Whenever you feel like you want to do something – doesn’t really matter what: go for a coffee to a cute cafe, buy a new book, call your friend, wear your fanciest outfit on a random day, etc. – just do it. Don’t listen to the little voice in your head that keeps finding excuses for not fulfilling your wishes. It will persuade you that, for instance, you don’t need to exercise today, cause you’re going to the gym tomorrow anyway, or that you’ll visit your favorite coffeeshop next week, cause you were going to do some shopping in that area. If you feel like it’s something your heart wants to do right now – simply do it, even if you have planned to do something else.

This, obviously, refers to your hobbies and free time. I’m not saying that if you have to go to work or school, but you feel like going to the cinema instead, you should simply ditch your responsibilities. Absolutely not. Your duties come first, but apart from that remember: you are a free human being and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want without feeling guilty about not corresponding a certain routine or a plan you made earlier.

When you start listening to your soul, you’ll see how much fun it is. You’ll get that feeling of freedom and that’s the best part of being an adult. You’ll start filling your life with those little but essential things that bring you joy and you’ll notice how your life has changed for the better, even though you haven’t been doing anything extraordinary or grandiose. After practicing on the small things, you can start working on bigger spheres of your life. Like learning a new profession and finding a job that you’ll not hate but rather love. Traveling to the country that has been your dream destination for years. Getting out of a relationship that was comfortable but toxic. The examples can be endless, but I think you get the point.

Sometimes we do need to wait. I’m not saying that we should start irrationally and recklessly doing whatever we want. Sometimes we have to stick to the plan, we have to gain the required knowledge and experience before doing something. We have to take into consideration different circumstances. Like if you want to start wearing tops and shorts, you have to wait for the weather to get warm, otherwise you’ll simply catch a cold. So, everything should be in moderation. But in general start doing whatever you’ve been wanting to do – that’s as simple as it is. I’ll end this post with a quote I often see online: “Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect”.