Yes, that’s not a typo, you’ve read it right.
I’m sure you probably heard of such a concept as “inferiority complex“. It’s a feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, when you don’t think you’re worth anything good, and that everyone else is way better than you. Did you know though, there’s the exact opposite? The complex of superiority. I didn’t. I mean I knew about narcissism, egoism, arrogance and stuff like that, but I didn’t know there’s actually such term that defines this kind of people. I just made up the title, and then decided to check in google, and apparently, superiority complex means “a belief, that your abilities or accomplishments are somehow dramatically better than other people’s”.
Now, it’s quite common and normal, when you can think, that you’re better, smarter, prettier than someone else. Somehow people can’t stop comparing themselves with others, whether it’s their acquaintances or strangers, and I think it’s better to think higher of yourself, than feel “lesser“. But here, just like in everything else, should be a healthy limit. I can think better of myself, but in a good and harmless way, without offending or making fun of others.
Sadly, people are often in two extremes-either they think that they suck, and everyone else is better, or they think that they’re elite, while others suck. I’ve talked a lot about the first type, and decided to study the second type of people this time.
As I’ve mentioned a lot, it’s okay to be a little egoistic, unless it hurts others in any way. And since apparently we can’t live without comparisons, it’s even good, when you notice the things that you’re better at than others. It means you value your abilities, whether it’s dancing, knowing maths, drawing well, running fast, knowing many languages etc. But still we need to understand, that just because I’m better at doing sth, doesn’t mean, that the other person is bad. Everyone has something that they’re better or worse at, but that shouldn’t define us as good or bad, worthy or unworthy.
There’s even an unhealthier type of people with superiority complex. The ones who feel superior and greater than everyone, just because of wealth, status, lifestyle or any other artificial and outer thing. At least in the first case people can be arrogant because they actually have better abilities or skills. While with this category, people, having no special talents or values, obtain something that is considered “luxury” or “trendy” and kind of usurp that into their characters. You’ve probably met such people: they feel superior because they have an expensive car, the latest iphones instead of other brands, that automatically become lame; they have a “healthy” lifestyle with counting every single calorie, and you are just a lazy, unhealthy person, just because you don’t live on rice, buckwheat or greenery; they live in the city center, and not in a “poor” neighborhood. They are better than everyone, because they are vegan, vaccinated, have a higher social status, do yoga or go to gym, travel to different countries every other day, read lots of books, have tonnes of expensive clothes etc. I think you got the point. And again, I’m not saying that any of these things are wrong, quite the contrary. These are all very good things on their own. And it’s really great, if you do or have any of these things. What’s bad, is you not only thinking higher of yourself in your mind (that I don’t really care about), but taking every opportunity to tease, laugh or offend others, who don’t share the same lifestyle or don’t do or have what you have. That’s the big problem. Because these things, they’re just a hobby, a way of living, something that you feel is good and right for you. But it doesn’t make you better. Nothing does. Except your humanity.
I think in reality these people, who automatically perceive themselves as elite because of any of the reasons above, actually suffer from concealed inferiority complex. You know, one type of self-conscious people admit that they think bad of themselves. Maybe because they like playing the victim and receiving lots of compliments and comforting words, or are just honest people, who aren’t afraid to talk about their flaws. The others, who are more ambitious and less sincere, try their hardest to hide and cover up their insecurities. And sometimes they truly get into character and actually believe in the mask they’re wearing. All of their self-doubts and inferiority feelings live in their subconsciousness, and they do everything to forget about those. You know, every psychologist or motivator will say “fake it till you make it“, or repeat something so many times, that you’ll actually start believing in that. That’s why these type of people never fail to mention how smart, beautiful, happy they are, they always find a place in a conversation to emphasize, that they’re rich, they have a high position in job or a loving wife/husband, that they travel or buy expensive stuff all the time. And of course mock everyone else, who doesn’t have the same. It just helps them assert and prove themselves on behalf of others. And it’s actually really sad.
The worst part is, that the first type of inferiority people (let’s call them this way), who acknowledge their insecurities, think that the second type are truly confident and satisfied with everything they have, while it’s utterly wrong. You know, when you’re really confident and you have something, you don’t talk and brag about that all the time. You don’t look for an opportunity to show off, you don’t start your every sentence with “well, since I’m really smart…” or “as I travel every week…“. These things are natural for you, just like you having brown hair, drinking water, showering or eating. Those are the same things. They only become important when you prioritize them.
This post was really interesting to reflect on, as I started writing about people with a complex of superiority, and ended up discovering, that it is actually a hidden form of inferiority (sorry if these two words are repetitive in this blog). Well maybe not in all cases, but I think generally it’s true. It’s the people, who may have trauma from childhood, who were constantly told that they’re worse than others, who aren’t enough and should work on themselves to become better. That’s why once they grow and obtain something, it becomes their safety bubble or their crown, which compensates all their insecurities.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, people are way complicated than we think. We may think that someone is self-centered and arrogant, but in reality they may suffer from the lack of self-confidence, and use a fake confidence mask as a shield to protect themselves from the “enemy“. Hence why, never judge a person on their covers, always try to dive a little deeper into their character and past, in order to understand them a little better. And stop hiding behind these shiny masks and covers, you’ll be liked and respected much more, if you became honest and accept all of your flaws and just be genuine with people and with yourself. No one likes a show off, especially nowadays, when the amount of braggers has grown immensely. Remember that.