The Odd One Out 👤

September got me feeling nostalgic for my student years, whether in school or university. I’ve been getting a lot of memories, mostly good ones, as when time passes, your brain kind of erases the bad recollections. At least mine does.

As they say it’s never too late for anything. Not ever too late to analyze yourself and your behavior in a certain period, even if that period was a long time ago. So I guess that’s what I’m trying to do now.

Watching a teenage rom com about school, friendships, relationships and “social status” made me realize something. I had always been the weird one out. Watching this movie, which I loved years ago, as I could relate so much to it, helped me understand lots of things. You have probably seen many teenage (and not only teenage) movies, when someone tries really hard, in order to get into a friendship, the cool group or the luxurious environment. They do everything, change their style, interests, ways of talking and acting just to be accepted. Now, looking back, it’s funny to realize, that I was that person. Of course everything is highly exaggerated in movies to make the point clearer. The reality was much duller, I didn’t do anything way too crazy, but one thing is sure I did try to be like everyone else, tried to hide some of my preferences and hobbies and acquired new ones. And now I can clearly see, how those big group friendships were forced, how unwelcome I was. I didn’t understand it back then, I only knew that I wanted to become a part of something cool. To hang out and be friends with people I liked the best, or thought that these were the “cool kids” of the class, the most fun ones. So high school basically repeated those movie scenarios for me with a failed friendship group. When I got out of that toxic environment, I promised myself not to do it again. But I did. I still forced myself into a place where I definitely didn’t belong. Where again I had to try really hard in order to be accepted and welcomed as a friend. Eventually I was accepted and everything was great, or at least it seemed to be. However as they say, all good things come to their end. Luckily I soon started to realize that I didn’t like the person I was, as it wasn’t the real me. And I got on the right path quite quickly. It was hard because when you stop doing what you thought you had to, people get surprised and don’t want to accept the new you, they want to see you how you were. And that’s the biggest problem with faking. You can’t go on like that forever. Or some can, I don’t really know. But if you create a whole new identity or personality for something or someone special, one day, when that personality expires, people surrounding you will start questioning everything. And you’ll just end up loosing everything.

Accepting and enhancing your true self is quite a hard path to go through but it’s totally worth it. After two big mistakes (maybe there were some other smaller ones way before those as well, I don’t remember now) I managed to understand what many people don’t till the rest of their lives. I still see many people changing their colors like a chameleon in order to suit a certain environment. How they keep changing their opinions, style, interests etc. to be suited for this new place or new people. It’s bad, but it’s already their lives and their choices. I did mine. I’ll rather be the black sheep, white crow or the weird one out everywhere I go, but I’ll be me, no matter how hard it can be. And I’ll know that people who surround me are there for the real me, not the fake one that I’ve created. And that’s great.

14 thoughts on “The Odd One Out 👤

  1. It is very difficult to find your identification, your self. You are great for finding yourself quite early 😍👍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i never thought about being in the “cool group” as i did things i liked and hung out with people i liked. i played sports, i was in student govt., and i was one of the school’s newspaper and yearbook photographers. i didnt think of myself as being “cool” or popular or anything but just being me. looking back i moved from group to group and never thought about it as i had friends in all the groups but never thought of them as “groups.”

    thanks for sharing your time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wow you dud quite a lot in your student years! in here we didn’t have those typical high school cliques that are shown in movies, so it wasn’t the same,,but still I always ended up somewhere where I didn’t belong 😂 thanks a lot for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. well im sure you were noticed but they were just too shy to say anything to you. i know i would have noticed you.

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  3. I can really relate to this article. I was shunned at times in elementary school, just for being smart. There was a club against me the entire 5th grade year, with no one talking to me. I was doing the school work and attempting to deal with the extremely competitive class the teacher had set up. Other than attempting to dumb myself down I was SOL in options to change things and no adults stepped in to change it either. I was also very spiritually and metaphysically aware growing up, but after issues with doctors, my parents and this fifth grade experience, I learned to hide the real me. I was very active in high school and accepted for those things I was involved in, but dropped into a deep depression because I wasn’t able to really express all of me. I have one long time friend from early childhood and the rest I have no desire to connect with anymore.

    It is a hard path at times to express your truth and step out on that limb but as you discovered, it is much more healthy to be true and authentic than attempt to fit in with dysfunction. I’m so glad you found your way to your true path. And yes, many don’t throughout their life. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. thanks a lot for sharing your experience as well! there are sadly so many people who go through the same problems and situations. but I guess those are just life lessons that we need to learn and become better, wiser and stronger! I also have good friends from elementary/middle school, but not high school, but as they say it’s about quality, not quantity! thanks again! ♥️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing this. Being true to ourselves is so important but you’re absolutely right that some people never really understand that, however old they are. It’s not always easy to be different but it’s always a better option than just being a follower.

    Like

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