I’ve mentioned happiness and being happy a lot in throughout the years. But I’ve never really discussed it properly, what is happiness? p.s. the words happy and happiness are going to be repeated a thousand times in this post, so sorry in advance.
If you ask people, whether they’re happy or not, most of them will answer either “no” or “I don’t know“. To understand the problem, we have to first find out what happiness really is. The dictionaries of Cambridge and Merriam-Webster state the following: happiness is a state of well-being and contentment, joy, the feeling of being pleased. See how simple. Nothing too complicated, extraordinary or magical in here. So if it’s such a simple feeling, why do most people consider themselves unhappy? Why being happy has become something supernatural? Why there are millions of books about how to become happy, yet we have so many unhappy people in our world?
I reckon there’s one simple explanation for this: it’s because we, stupid people, made happiness and being happy something unreachable and impossible. We ourselves created some pointless criteria, according to which we must consider ourselves happy or unhappy. We connected happiness with outer things or even people. And not just one thing, but many of them. You can be happy if you are: rich, if you have a good and respectable job, have the latest iPhone, your own house, with the most luxurious furniture, if you have an expensive car and wear absurdly expensive clothes from brands, if you are traveling, if you’re going to cafes and different events, if you have a good partner, husband/wife, kids…That’s it, this is the standard of happiness that we have created, a huge list of things that can go on and on. But even if a person has everything described above, why is it that most of the time they still consider themselves unhappy? Because they didn’t put their priorities right on the first place. Because they connect being happy with their life stages, goals or even simple needs. With external things. And sometimes even things that they themselves don’t want. But the society wants it, hence it’s a good thing and they have to want it too.
In reality there’s nothing complex or problematic about this feeling. It is just a feeling, like being sad, being angry, pleased, satisfied, irritated etc… You can be the happiest person right now, but tomorrow you may not feel yourself completely happy, and that’s absolutely okay.
I’ve always had my own definition for it though. Happiness is an inner feeling, not connected with outer things. Happiness is appreciating and being grateful for everything you have, even if you don’t have much. It’s about being in peace with your mind and soul, and being in harmony with yourself and the world. If you don’t feel like that, nothing will make you happy, not the most expensive cars, not all the money in the world, nothing. You may get excited and pseudo-happy for a short while, but then you’ll feel down again just because you’ll find something else that will stop you from being happy. You won’t be happy unless you have the perfect body, perfect nose, visit Italy or anything else. And this circle remains unbroken.
If you want to see pure examples of happiness, just look at kids and pets. Look how sincerely happy your dog gets when you come home, when you pet him or play with him. Even cats, who often look grumpy and don’t get that excited, still purr from being happy. But the best example are children. They’re happy with no reason. They’ll jump into a puddle and feel amazing. They’ll get a toy, even an old or broken one, but they’ll feel happy (I’m not talking about the kids, who are already spoiled by their parents, trying to pass their materialistic standards to their children). You play with the child-he’s happy. They watch a cartoon-they’re happy. They do nothing-they’re still happy. Again, before being spoiled and ruined by their parents and society.
They say children are angels until a certain age, so maybe we should just look at them and try to learn that purity, innocence, and sincerity? And finally understand that there’s no hard mechanism or a special hex for being happy. You just be present in your life, with no thoughts about past or future, with no worries, fears or regrets and just enjoy that moment. I realized this many times. The last time was a simple ride, a great song, reminding the good old times, and a beautiful sunset. That’s all I needed to feel infinitely happy at that moment. Try to learn that, enjoy your every day and remember that life is all about simplicity.
annmary0723 
Happy thoughts š Have a nice day š
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thank you! you too, have a good one! š
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Great piece with awesome points, Ann. Happiness is different things for different people and the happiness you have to pursue will always evade you. You must create your happiness. So many people don’t realize that being happy doesn’t come from the outside. It only comes from within. Thank you so much for posting. ā¤
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Thank you so much! Yes exactly, it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone, we’re all different so our happiness should be different too.ā„ļø
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i REALLY like your definition! at any given day or time, one could answer if they are “happy” differently. people always seem to say…if i only had…….i would be happy. fill in the blank. but it also seems having materialistic items would make one “happy” but the more one has, the more one wants to feel “happy” i seem to notice my happiness waxes and wanes through out the day and it all depends on outside influences. good post!!!
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yess I couldn’t agree more! especially with saying “if only I had,,,”. that’s true, the more people collect, they more they seem to need and it never ends,,thanks a lot!
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š
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First off, children are not innocent, just incompetent. š When my wife first discovered “original sin” it was when she was babysitting a group of children 2-5 years old! If children could kill, they certainly would; thankfully they usually learn some measure of self-control before they learn how to destroy another being.
The biggest problem with happiness is that most people do not realize it is like a butterfly; if you chase it, it will flit away. But occupy yourself with something important and it will come and light on your shoulder.
Rick Warren summed it up nicely: āHappiness is not the goal in life; happiness is a by-product of living out your purpose.ā
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I can tell from my own āinvestigationsā, that childrenās cruelty mostly comes from their parents, from the lack of love and attention, or when their parents themselves are cruel, and children absorb everything they see like a sponge,, as for happiness, you are right, itās no use of running after it, itās just a feeling that youāll have if youāre living your life right, doing what you sincerely desire,, thanks for your comment! āŗļø
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For me, happiness is a byproduct, and it’s not something we should seek out as the final goal. I find that I’m at my happiest when I’m free from expectations, and I’m least happy when I think I’m entitled to it. Anyway, thanks for this post, and wishing you loads of happiness!
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thatās true! itās not a goal, just a feeling or a state of soul,, and I agree about expectations, theyāre the worst enemies of people,,thank you! āŗļø
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I am happy to exist. So I am happy when I am happy and happy when I am unhappy.
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haha thatās hilarious! but itās absolutely true, weāre existing, living every day and having different experiences, and thatās already a great thing to be happy about! thanks for your comment! š
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Great post! I try to differentiate between happiness and joy. Everyone can feel a moment of joy at any time but sometimes true happiness can be elusive, particularly when going through tough times. Thanks for the post!
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that’s true indeed! but I think moments of pure joy can create happiness if you try to focus on those good moments more than the hardships of life,,thanks for your comment!ā„ļø
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Hey there!!! Iām just checking in to let you know I nominated you for The Sunshine Blogger Award. You absolutely deserve it! No worries if your site is award free, just wanted to share your beautiful work and how much I appreciate you!!!! Much love, my friend š¤š¤ -Ace
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Hi! thank you so much for the nomination, I’m honored! It’s not award free, however the last time I was awarded the questions were really similar, so I don’t think I’ll write it again. sorry, but thanks again!ā„ļø
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Very good points here š
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thanks a lot! š
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Ah, this is perfect! I’m writing a post on happiness, and would love to link back to this. You’ve captured it beautifully. Happiness does not come from the extraordinary. It comes from noticing and appreciating all the ordinary.
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thanks soo much for your kind words! ā„ļø and I absolutely agree with you! I’ll definitely check your blog out to see your whole perspective on this simple yet difficult topic ā„ļø
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