The grandma living inside me is out again, ready to write and somehow criticize nowadays’ trends and generation.
Last year, around this time I made a similar post, about people copying each other, especially each other’s content, and about how good it is to stay original and not be a copycat. Now reading that, I can only think “oh darling, you have no idea how far the copying process will go”. Because now, looking and observing many many people, I wonder whether there are any individuals left, who live their own unique lives, without being mainstream. Last year I talked more about content being repeated and thereby stolen. That issue is still very relevant, as things haven’t changed at all. But this time I want to talk more about lifestyle, personality traits, style and general mindset.
From some point, I started to notice, that everyone seems to be living the same life. You know the “chic” life you’d see in movies. The fake life, that’s how I call it. People (again not everyone, but a big majority) want to do some things, because that’s what everyone else is doing at a certain age/point in their lives. So in order to be seem as successful, happy, glamorous, stylish, they do those things too, whether they like it or not. Because apparently there’s a sort of a criteria of how a happy, successful and “classy” person lives and behaves, what he/she wears, what they love, even what they eat, drink, watch and read… I’ve already been through a period in my life, when many people I knew suddenly changed, literally out of the blue, because they were already “grown ups” and shouldn’t be behaving like they were only a month ago. At that time I was feeling kinda lost, because I thought that maybe it was normal, and now I had to act like that too. Gladly that lesson was successfully learned, and I stayed true to myself, and didn’t change just because everyone else did. Change is a great thing, without it we all would be degrading, we’d all be in a swamp, but it is only good when it happens at its own pace, when it comes naturally. But when a person suddenly changes from an A person to a B one, at a moment’s notice, that’s far from a natural growth. That means that the person suddenly decided to wear this mask and play this character, changing their true identity like a chameleon. And throughout their lives they keep changing their colors, depending on what’s trendy, with whom they hang out and many other factors.
It was interesting for me to observe that process from aside. I saw one person talking about things they do and love, then saw another one doing the same thing, then another one, and another one. And now I can mostly see those people, just like a flock of sheep. Of course there are many others who follow other trends, or have managed to preserve their individuality. But mostly what I see is people being obsessed with coffee (especially iced coffee) and red wine (especially on friday nights out), as if there are no other drinks and beverages. People talking and bragging about their “spirituality“, by following those modern gurus’ profiles in instagram or pinterest and thinking that if they read, like and share those “wisdom posts“, they automatically become spiritual and enlightened. People having the absolute same style, either with golden chains and huge ass jewelry, or the bright colorful ones, as if they’re 10 again, same cropped tops and wide jeans, same flannel shirts, same short hair (because now having long hair is a peasant’s thing) and hair accessories,,, same, same, same. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing bad or wrong with any of the things described above, but when you see this almost everywhere, it becomes too much. It’s like the watching same person with different names. Especially when many of these people were totally different a month or a week before all of this becoming a trend. And it’s so funny when you see a group of friends walking around and looking absolutely the same, and you can’t even distinguish whether they’re friends or identical twins.
You know, I wouldn’t really care about all of this. But there’s one thing quite bothering me. Almost my whole life I was trying to preserve my individuality and uniqueness, by loving, wearing and doing what I wanted to. I had my “bad” period in high school and freshman year in university, when I was trying to fit in really badly, and wore and did things that were far from my true nature and style. But luckily I managed to overcome that and fully enhance me being a “white crow” of the society, with my own mindset, style, tastes and lifestyle. People sometimes made fun of me (mostly not in the mean way, but still), my weird preferences and likes/dislikes. And now guess what, things that I’ve been loving for years and was considered weird for loving them, have now become mainstream, another trend.
I’ll bring just a few examples to give the proper image. People never understood my introverted nature and how I’d prefer staying at home rather than partying. And now, I really don’t understand why, being considered an introvert is an elite thing. The most ridiculous thing is that people going to cafes/pubs/clubs, gyms/salons and many other public places non-stop, not spending at least one day at home, brag about how they’re introverts, constantly mentioning it everywhere. When I loved the tv-show Friends, and advised it to anyone asking for a recommendation, the most common answer I got was “ew no, isn’t it like old?”. And now guess what, those same people are “hardcore Friends fans“. Same when I loved HP and other nerdy fandoms. When I loved vintage/retro style and vibes, people again considered it old, last century, and now it’s the new aesthetic, everyone is suddenly a 90s child. Even this word, “aesthetic” has become such a cliche expression that I don’t even want to say it anymore, even though I’ve been using it for years, meaning the beauty and special atmosphere of life, nature or other things, and not meaning and complimenting my own style or my own photos or anything else. When I stopped everywhere to take photos of beautiful nature or small details (and edited them in a special, “retro” way), when I loved the gloomy and rainy weather, when I adored the moon, and cosmos in general, studied astrology and astronomy, loved crystals and plants, when I wore silver, especially lots of silver rings, when I mixed different styles with each other, etc… These things, and many more, were kind of my thing, my style, things that made me me, if that makes sense. I didn’t love them because they made me unique or special, no, I just loved them, with no reason, purely because they were resonating well with my soul. And now ask every other girl, they’ll say how they’re fascinated by the moon, how they always wore lots of silver rings, how they loved the gloomy weather, and how cozy it is… And all of a sudden you become just another product of the day. Obviously I know my own self, I know that these are truly my preferences. But for anyone else, I’m just one of the same. On one hand, I don’t really care, as I understand perfectly well, that when this trend fades away, people will blindly start loving the new one, and say how they’d always been into this. And I, and I’m sure many other people now suffering from the same thing, will stay with our true identity and carry on developing our personal style. But until that moment has come, it’s really annoying. You know what’s funny though. If you ask those people, they’ll brag about how they’re unique and different, while looking from aside you can’t even distinguish one from another.
I hope people won’t take this the wrong way, by thinking that I’m trying to show off, saying my style and likes are better than everyone else, or that “I’m not like the other girls” (another cliche expression), no, I hardly ever talk about it. I never mention and emphasize the things that I do or love, like the fake ones do, in order to persuade others, as well as themselves, that that’s what they actually love. I’ve just noticed the same copycats all over internet and instagram now, especially from my country, and it irritates me a little, so I wanted to talk it through and maybe make a change somehow? Because there are things that you have to talk about and raise your voice, starting from small and not important things like this, to the big and essential ones. That’s how people make positive changes, by talking about the right things and trying to explain the absurd and stupid things that are being done.
So always remember this. There’s absolutely no criteria of how a stylish, happy and successful person should look like or live like. You be you and create your own individual style. It’s okay to be inspired or influenced by others, like I did through time, and I’m sure everyone did. But stop being the same. You’re not “special” if you do what others do. People have created the “basic bitch” expression trying to make fun of the “plain” people having no extraordinary or distinctive style. But I’ll tell you what. Now, those basic bitches are more special and unique, than most of those fashion divas. So just put aside all those labels and trends, wear what you want, do what you want, love what you want. Even if people make fun of you now, remember one day, they might be copying it one day.
A very hot topic. People are afraid to be themselves, because they have low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and therefore copy each other in order to be like everyone else, so they are calmer, no one will condemn them or call them a black sheep.👍❤
that’s sadly very very true! thanks a lot for the comment 😍♥️
😉 And if they don’t copy it, who cares?
I recall a cartoon once where a young woman was telling her professor how “I have decided “”I”” am not going to follow the crowd anymore. I’m going to do my own thing, be my own person, live MY life!”
“Wow,” replied the prof. “What brought about this radical change in your perspective.”
She replied, “Well, everybody else is doing it.”
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haha that was funny! 😁that’s the point, some people think they’re making their decisions all on their own without realizing that they’re influenced by the society
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thanks a lot! 😄
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People who copy want to be accepted. As long as you, AnnMary, have your own tribe, apart from the copycats, it doesn’t matter 🙂
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haha, “own tribe” I liked that 😂 thanks a lot 😄
I love this post for many real and original reasons, and I have written posts in poem form about copycat writers, and all of this essay is authentic and I congrats and honor all real writers here and this post deserves to be supported here by all and go viral!!!
thanks so much! Yes it is hard for creators these days, because everything is being repeated and that’s really sad!
You are correct on every level of truth govern by facts!
I appreciate your realness!
Really interesting post, thank you. Having the courage to be authentic, real and perhaps different to the mainstream is a huge strength. Embrace it and keep being you!
thank you! that’s absolutely true🧡