And it’s that time of the year again, when the world splits into happy couples, looking forward for the Valentine’s day to come, and single people, hating on this day, saying how stupid it is. No sorry, there’s also the third type waiting to celebrate this day with their friends and have a Galentine/Palentine night. I already talked about this topic last year, and this time I want to talk a little about self-love, since it is a love holiday.
For some strange reason people divided this one feeling “love” in different categories and think that those are not connected and or intertwined with each other. Love for your friends is different from the one for your family. Self love is different from romantic love. Love for animals is different from love of life etc. While in reality this is the exact same feeling, expressed in different spheres of life. And if you have a problem in one sphere, it will definitely affect the others. This especially concerns self-love, as you can never genuinely and sincerely love anything or anyone else, if you don’t love yourself.
Self-love and self-acceptance are the key of having a healthy life and healthy relationships. It’s hard to completely love yourself, when you keep comparing yourself to others, when you see your failures, when you think that you’re not enough. But I guess that’s the irony, that we should learn to love ourselves, with all our failures, all our disadvantages and bad sides. I’m stupid? Great, I love it. I’m fat? The more, the better. I’m a total loser? Then I’ll be the best loser in the world.
However, we need to differentiate between loving ourselves for us, and becoming boastful, narcissistic, selfish, not ready to hear some advice or constructive criticism. And when I say to love even your bad and weak sides, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to work on them. Yes, I’m stupid now. I love the stupid me, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get smarter. I will read a lot, I will attend different courses, I’ll study in university, because I want to improve myself. But anyway I’ll love both the stupid me and the smart me. That’s the golden line of loving ourselves how we are, but aspiring more for us. Not to impress others, not to make others jealous and envious, but for us.
My mom once said to me, remember when you were a child? That same innocent sweet child is still inside you. And whenever you say bad things to you, call yourself ugly, a looser or anything else, you say that to the little child inside. This made me feel really bad, because I imagined how those stupid words actually affect on our soul, as we’re all children inside, waiting for a compliment, a good word, an approval and most of the time not from others, but from ourselves.
It is easier to say than to actually do it, this is quite a long and hard process, as it’s hard to accept everything, even the negative sides. But sometimes the hardest things start from a very simple and non-essential from the first sight step. So that’s my advice for all the single people out there for this Valentine’s day (or maybe not only for single ones, you decide). This year Valentine’s is on Sunday, and that’s a wonderful coincidence, which gives you the possibility to cancel all the insignificant businesses, and dedicate that day, or even the whole weekend to yourself. The problem of nowadays is that people spend so much time on crap and don’t have more time and energy left to focus on themselves and have some “me” time. So start by changing that. Have an amazing pamper ceremony, take a long bath with bubbles and essential oils, do a beautiful hairstyle, do a mask or a scrub, paint your nails, do some yoga or dance, something that is good for your body but doesn’t exhaust you. Eat your favorite meal without limiting yourself or feeling guilty about it, watch a great and motivating movie, read something nice. Do researches on how to love and accept yourself and start little by little, step by step. Write down all the little and big things that you love about yourself, both in your appearance and character. Write down the things that you are proud of and grateful for. Be appreciative and conscious, focus on the positive aspects of your life and your own self. And let this Valentine become a transformational and reawakening day for you, so you’ll discover all the love in the world.
Happy Valentine’s Day! 💌