when lost, turn to your memories…

as I’ve said this a lot, memories are never happy..they are always bittersweet. you always want to go back and live that moment once again even if your completely and sincerely happy in the present day…but did you know that memories can also heal and cure your soul, mind and generally yourself? I kinda never payed attention to this, but it’s true..just one old person and some old songs can bring so many memories..memories of what you did back at a certain point, what you wanted, who you were…that specific point for me would be 5 years ago..a freshman, who just overcame her depression and started to actually enjoy her life…who found her co-thinker( I know there’s no such a word, but I’m too tired and excited right now to remember the proper word), who got the taste of life, who stepped into the white line, who found a reason to go ahead…I was full of dreams, lots and lots of small and big dreams,,some of them came true, some of them still haven’t..the point is that I didn’t know and didn’t care about the future..I had my dreams, my world, my music. I found my positive flow of life and dived deep into it. I was sure that everything will turn out the way I wanted..well not everything did eventually as I look back now but it doesn’t really matter..we never know what’s going to happen or not..but we can always dream..always go back to a point in your life when you were full of hopes and dreams and bring that condition, that state back to you..I’m sad now because I actually miss those times..innocent, immature times, when I didn’t really have to overthink about everything..I would love to go back, not to change anything but to feel those feelings once again…feel that fresh air, the sun, freedom and first steps of growing mature..I get all of this now too, but it’s different…I’m happy, because I got reminded how I was and how I could be now..I remembered so many things, I’ve forgotten during all these years…simple things..tried to find complicated explanations to everything, find a “meaning” to life, when I could have just lived easily, lightly…years go, and life never stops for anyone..we all change whether we want it or not..don’t get me wrong I’m beyond happy for who I am now, it’s just some weird thoughts I got tonight,,for which I’m honestly thankful..thankful to the memories that healed me in a way, became the medicine I didn’t think I needed now..thankful to that person who brought an old part of me back to life, who will do her best now…life’s full of surprises..you never know how the day will end, and what tomorrow will bring..so just live your life the way you want to..don’t lose a single moment or day of doing what you actually enjoy doing…and don’t make everything complicated…and excuse me for this weird, messy kind of meaningless blog