It’s always interesting to make new discoveries of yourself or things in general. I think everyone has that in their lives, when you know something for a long time and you understand it, that it’s true, but you kind of don’t actually realize it. And then one day comes and bam, you finally understand something you’ve known for a while. I hope this makes sense. The same happened to me. I have always been a great fan of fantasy genre, I mean I can’t imagine my life without anything connected to fantasy, magic or mystery. And of course I always watched movies, tv shows, read books in this genre. I believe that all of this stuff is real, maybe not in our dimension, somewhere in alternate universe, but whatever, that’s not the point. And I knew that the fantasy genre always has the best answers to any problems of humankind, just in a figurative way. That everything in there perfectly represents our lives, our problems, fears etc. I knew that, but I didn’t understand it until recently. I always dreamed about fighting with evil, with demons, having superpowers, being the hero, always solving some problems and stuff. I always dreamed about it and pictured myself in that role. Just recently I realized that I got what I wanted. Everything that I’ve ever imagined. But again in a figurative way. My life is and has always been what I’ve wanted it to be, what I’ve seen so much in movies or books. I just always thought that I would literally have what I imagined, but that just couldn’t happen. I got the metaphorical representation of what all of this meant in the movies or books. The problems that I got were not “usual” for the mortal world. It was always something that I couldn’t even explain to me or to others, because it was indescribable. It was let’s say supernatural. Because I’ve dreamed about it and attracted it to my life. There were no real demons or monsters in this world, that I could fight, that’s why I created my own ones in my head. And there was a period when I always complained about it, why I don’t have normal problems or drama like everyone else, why I got what I got, why the life was so unfair. Now when I realized what has happened, it makes everything so funny and ridiculous. And the most important is that it makes everything much easier for me. Because now I understood and saw that one causal link, which connected everything together. If I created my own demons, it means that I also got the power to fight them back. If the demons are real for me, it means that the alias me also exists, with all the magical powers. And now I can finally picture myself as that badass hero, who fights with them. And whenever I feel down, I picture it as another battle with evil, which I have to win, which I can win. That’s what I call my fears, doubts, anxiety and problems now. Demons. I know perfectly well how they can manipulate with you, with reality, how they can make you feel something that doesn’t really exist. And now when something strange happens, I just know that it’s just a regular evil trick. If there was a test about all the supernatural and magical stuff, I would get a straight A. And it’s always much easier to fight with sth you know perfectly well. When you know how to vanquish each and every one of these demons.
And it’s not only my imagination that brought all of these into my life. It’s my choice of going through the spiritual and magical path. It was my choice to start developing my inner powers, my intuition, to always be interested in enlightening topics, witchcraft and stuff. And the further you go in this path, the more difficult it can become. But it also becomes more and more interesting and fascinating. And that’s another thing that is also comforting a lot, is that now I know that it was my choice. I made this everything, I wanted what I had. It’s one thing to blame the universe for anything that happens, and not understand the real reason of it. And it’s a totally another thing to realize that it was my choice, and therefore my responsibility now. The good part of it is that if I had a chance for choice, I would still choose the same. I wouldn’t give up, I wouldn’t stop being interested in what I love now, I wouldn’t go in a different way and stop my battle. Because that’s what made me who I am now. That’s really the greatest part of it.
So whenever sth bad or not very pleasant happens, always analyze your life decisions, dreams and wishes. Always try to find the causal link. And when you do that it’ll become much easier to figure out the solution of your problems.
p.s. though, it’s not that I care too much, but I hope people wouldn’t think that I’m a total freak or psycho, that I went mad because of all of the stuff I wrote. I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours…🦋