Wow, I’m just realizing that 2018 is almost over. I mean hasn’t it just started? Wasn’t it a few weeks ago that I wrote the last blog for 2017? But still so much happened in this time that it also feels like an eternity.
Anyway, welcome to the last blog post of 2018. As one year ago, just wanted to recall this past year, what happened to me, again do my favorite comparisons of me now and then and stuff like that.
This year was calmer and more peaceful than 2017. The most important thing that happened is my graduation which was really long-awaited. University itself represented a kind of a prison for me, and I finally broke free. An amazing journey came to its end and I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for everything that happened in all those years.
The time of winter is always kind of the mediator period of post-holidays and spring-awaiting. The period of creating “new life” for the upcoming year.
Spring was so inspiring this year. I mean I wrote tons of blogs in that time cause I was inspired almost always. I was slowly getting the taste of freedom and I was feeling like a careless teen again as I was in high school. All my responsibilities, all the mandatory things were coming to their end, and I finally started doing what I actually want, and not what I have to do. Cannot not speak about the may showers which represented the perfect psychological and spiritual way of cleansing everything negative and bad from my life. My soul seemed to get lighter and cleaner from every new rainstorm.
After graduation I thought I would immediately start to make up for the past neglect-watch tons of movies and read lots of books. But apparently my brain needed a relax time, with no new information of any kind to get rid of all the bullshit learned in the last couple of years. It was my “phoenix time” if I can say so, I was reborn once again and it was perfect. The new, fresh me for the new more excited period of my life. Summer became the fun time, the continuation of not caring and just living my best life every day. That’s how I remember it, sunny, fresh and inspiring just like in the Bradbury novels.
Autumn was the most peaceful time of the year. It was going ahead like in slow motion. I name it the artistic renaissance of me, cause I started feeling so creative again, draw, write, make anything creatively possible. Also it became the time of learning. For years I kind of ignored the “human knowledge”, and was more focused on the spiritual wisdom. But the time has come, and I felt really eager to learn as much as I can from different spheres. I spent much of my time alone, which was I think an exam that I’ve passed with success, cause my loneliness didn’t become a burden for me, I actually enjoyed it and became even more independent in all of my actions and decisions. And well, December was the month of eternal joy, festivity and magic, which is sadly coming to its end once again.
If last year was all about being more honest and open about all my problems and fears and slowly overcoming them, this year was the time of another great realization. Not putting labels on myself. Not considering myself as someone who has problems, or anxiety or sth else, who is a sociopath, doesn’t like anything new etc. It was the time to burn all these old labels, beliefs and prejudices cause they were highly exaggerated and maybe not even completely mine. I started again to accept myself but this time from a different perspective. I’m a human being. As all the people, I got some problems, but I don’t define myself only based on them or anything negative. I started to get rid of all these past negative beliefs and affirmations, and it becomes so natural for me now. Speaking up my opinion, communicating more with people, trying new things, even new weird dishes, having walks around by myself etc. Accepting myself however I am. Not thinking much and getting deep down in everything, cause the more you dive in anything negative the more you start to drown and get to the very bottom of the dark ocean, where there’s no escape. I started to come out of my comfort zone, and actually enjoyed being outside of it. I became more mature and not only in spiritual way. I started to take the responsibility of my life and actions, and once again rely mostly on myself, not having any expectations connected with others. Not caring about the society rules, stereotypes or standards, creating my own, a little weird path to walk through in my life. Building up my life the way I want and desire it to be. Something I won’t blame anyone else, cause it’s mine, all mine. My decisions, my actions, my responsibility and my privilege.
My journey is still going on. I haven’t finished what I started, I am just moving forward constructing my life and my own self. Getting rid of every negative and toxic thing that holds me back from getting and doing what I actually want. Improving and enhancing all the good personality traits that I have. And finally and most importantly living my life and being happy. Cause a wise man once said that the only genuine purpose of this life is simply to be happy without any complications.
So this was the recap of my year. I’m forever grateful for everything that happened in this period, all the possibilities that I had connected with everything, all the fun that I had, all the inspiration. This gap year that I had, and still having was one of the best decisions of my life, to make up for the time I “lost” in school and university, to enhance what I’ve learned, to feel like a child or a teen once again before stepping into the bigger and greater life. To heal all the wounds of my soul and to rise once again like a phoenix.
So once again, I want to sincerely thank this whole year and the universe for absolutely everything that happened, and it doesn’t matter good or bad, everything was perfect just the way it was.
Thanks 2018 and farewell ! I can’t wait for the next year with all its great and amazing journey that is destined for me.