I could start this blog with a relevant beautiful quote about darkness, but I’m too lazy to go to google and find one.
You know when September comes, and many people suffer from whats so-called “autumn depression”, well I am not one of those people. I used to hate cloudy and rainy weather when I was in the phase of fitting in and faking it. But the more I grew up, the more I got attracted to the darker side. By saying the darker side I mean cloudy, gloomy days, mist, fog, night and everything that’s dark. I find relaxation in darkness. When it’s cloudy outside I feel so at peace and so cozy. When my classmates complained how the weather made them want to stay at home and not go anywhere, I was the opposite. I would get inspired to get out of the house. For a long time I couldn’t explain my strange love for darkness, but now I’m slowly realizing it.
When it is light and sunny, everything seems to be simple. Fun, light, positive but simple and on display. You see everything. And that’s it, you just see things the way they are, there is no mystery, complications or further story to that. For a person with such a huge imagination like me it is the highest peak of dullness. There’s no place to imagine and think about what could hide far away, deep in the clouds. When it is dark, you create your own world. You see everything the way you want to see it not the way it actually is. You make up a whole story, a whole image of the world of your own. There’s mystery in darkness. There’s magic and deep meaning in it. And I feel it. Feel every part of it. The power and peace of clouds, thunderstorms or rain. If there’s fog or mist, that’s just the ultimate perfection. There’s more room for building up your own world. And I just wait for a mysterious experience to happen, something to enjoy, something to remember.
When I’m home, and it’s raining, that’s another kind of satisfaction. You can’t imagine how I get excited whenever I see the cloudy sign in the weather podcast. Even when it’s raining for weeks, and everyone feels depressed and crushed, I feel my best. And again, why don’t I live in Great Britain? That’s the place that would suit me the most. Anyway, back to the topic. The sound of rain drops relaxes me so much, as though every drop clears everything negative and toxic from my soul, my mind and my life. Many people tell me “oh you could just download the app with different sounds and listen to it”, but no, no no no to that. It’s like instead of eating a pizza you will look its photos online. I hate how everything is getting connected to the phones, and people are constantly glued to their screens, leaving their lives. Not an app could possibly replace the real feeling of rain. It’s smell, it’s sounds, it’s everything. When I go to sleep and it’s raining, I can’t explain what I feel then. I feel so safe, idk why. As though something powerful and mysterious covers me like a blanket and serves as a protective shield from everything bad and evil outside. Like it’s my guardian angel putting me back to sleep. It’s the warmest feeling inside, like you just had a hot shower after a cold day. It’s like warm cuddles and coziness. It takes me to another place, a better and more magical place. I know this probably sounds insane, but that’s how it is.
And this doesn’t only refer to rainy weather. I can praise the nights or the moon in the same way. Staying up late has always been my favorite hobby. Looking out of the window, listening either to songs or just to the nature. Staring at the moon, wondering what’s in there. Sharing my secrets with her (I mean the moon), getting inspired, gaining energy from her, feeling mysterious. I’m a moon child and always has been. I always get inspired from the darkness. Almost all my blogs were written in night time or when it was cloudy and gloomy outside. That’s one more thing I like about darkness. It’s all about inspiration in the darkness. For me the darkness has a soul. An old and deep soul, just like mine, and maybe that’s the reason I connect with it so much. Maybe we’re soulmates. Maybe they came from or belong to the same place. And maybe that’s why I love and embrace and feel the best when it’s dark. When I don’t have to read or write anything, I don’t even turn on the light in my room. Just some fairy lights and candles. It makes everything so much comfier and again cozier. It makes me want to create. Doesn’t matter what kind of art it will be, music, writing, drawing, anything.
I guess that’s one of the meanings of life. To find what inspires you, what makes you feel the best you can ever feel. Finding your true self in something and never letting it go or fade away.
Here are some pics to get inspired 🌙