The title could as well be “the perks of having two names and two different personalities”, but the wallflower girl sounds way better. Why I say two different personalities is because I wrote a whole blog about me being an adventure seeker, loving risk, having fun and stuff like that, and now I’m going to write the opposite. If someone reads these two blogs, they’ll probably think these are two different people or that I have a split personality. But that’s true. I never was one type of a person. It’s like there are two people or souls who happen to share the same vessel. But enough about that. I’m inspired now about a different thing.
When I first read “The perks of being a wallflower” I thought that’s so me. Still think the same way. I don’t talk much especially in big groups, not because I am afraid of stating my opinion. Just because I don’t feel like talking, sharing my energy with others who’ll probably won’t even understand. I listen. I notice and conclude. I examine people and analyze them and also me. I don’t like big birthday party or weddings because they are kind of senseless for me. Music is too loud to have a conversation across the table but too bad to dance to it. I prefer low-key gatherings, where you can easily communicate with each other, play games, have fun and not have a headache from the constant bass. I can easily choose to stay by myself if something is not interesting to listen to, or if there are no people to talk to. No company is way better than bad company. I enjoy staying at home, with a good book or movie, with an idea for a new photo, or new recipe. Sitting in the balcony and gaining the energy of sun. Learning new piano songs or playing the old ones again and again. Or laying in my room with twinkle lights and candles on, with fresh flowers in my vase, and watching a movie, writing or drawing. Going for a walk or to a shop all alone, because I don’t get bored of my own company. Me, headphones with my fave music in my ears, and the world to explore, what could be better?
I don’t know why I started this. It’s just that I’m inspired by another ordinary teenage movie. Or a few ones. Yes, I’m still a teenager in my soul, who has so much to learn and discover. Lately I don’t want to analyze myself, and getting close to finally understanding all my features. I don’t want to be all serious. I just want to capture my days, my thoughts, my moods and inspiration. To analyze my metamorphosis, how I was right before ending uni classes, during the last exams or diploma thesis stuff, and after graduating. To see my changes and development. Or just simply to remember these careless days. To know that I can always choose what to do and how to feel. That I can always prefer to be a teen once again for a while, to realize that my age doesn’t define who I am or who I should be and what I should do. I’m the master of my seas (I hope you’ll get this song reference). Anyway, now I’m choosing to be this careless teen wallflower, who can easily get excited by a movie, songs, the weather or something else.
Song Inspiration: Imagine Dragons- Demons, Next to Me.
Movie Inspiration: I won’t say that, because that’s my movie and I’m a greedy person. 😈
P.S. When I say that I’m a wallflower today, doesn’t mean that I’ll stay that forever. I cam wake up tomorrow and decide to hijack a ship or sth like that. And that my dears is the perks of having two different personalities.
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