Here it is. My last blog of the year. Am I the only one who thinks that time flies equally fast and slowly? Like when I remember a day, it seems both like it was hundred years ago and only yesterday. I don’t think I wrote it right, but whatever. I wanted to summarize this year somehow. 2017 was I reckon one the best years. But to tell the truth, I say this to every year. But before I start, I want to say sth else, really quickly. Some people, or unfortunately most people nowadays hate their every year. Every year when they look back they say that it was horrible. And with that thoughts they enter the new year, with the “hope” of having a better one. I mean, one year is a great period of your lives. You have lived that year, you have at least some good memories for sure, so why not remember them instead of the general complaints? When I remember my last year, I try to focus only on the good things that happened to me. And when I say that 2017 was the best year of my life, it doesn’t mean that it only consisted of golden waterfalls, ponies and chocolate castles, definitely no. But there were still lots of memorable things to remember and appreciate. I have a notebook, where I write all the good things that happen to me with the date, whether it’s a meeting with a friend, shopping day with mom, a cozy movie night, whatever. And I was reading the dates of this year the other day, and I was kinda surprised that I had lots of great days, that I didn’t even remember. And I realized how people mistake everything, their lives and memories. Instead of good ones they always choose the bad ones. But again it’s a choice to make for everyone, we can always change our attitude and life will get better.
So 2017. As I said, a great one for me. Not only great because of all the fun, and good days and adventures, but also because of the bad days and problems and difficulties. I’ve changed and grown up so much this year, that I think I haven’t done for a great while. You can’t develop if you don’t have any problems. But through my big or small difficulties and problems, I discovered my true self, I started to think more of myself and my interests, I started to be much more honest both with other people and with myself. I started to say what I really think, started to protest when I didn’t like something or didn’t want to do sth. For me, it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Maybe for others I changed for the worse, but I don’t care. Only I know me completely and sincerely, and only I can feel what’s been good or bad for me. I really hope, that people understand that what I do and say is not against them, it’s just the best for me at this moment.
That’s what I wanted to say, when I said that the year doesn’t have to be the perfect to be a great one. Even though I mention that I had problems, I still say that this year was super successful for me. And btw, the problems were mostly psychological and mental, but they are the worst, aren’t they? May and June were the worst, but that’s when I grew up for 10 years in 2 months. Like literally, every week I was looking back at myself and saying, wow I changed so much. And that was the best prize that I could get from life. Feeling yourself more mature and more understanding every new day. But the best thing was that through time, and maybe a little long time, I started not to care. To say sth without being afraid of the response. I tried, and still trying to live life today, and not with the thoughts about yesterday or the worries about tomorrow. No wait, besides not caring there’s another great prize. They are closely connected. And that is being free. When you “solve” one of your life problems, you feel free. Free from society, from the rules, from stupid “what if”-s, but the most important, free from your own worries and fears and your bad side that always makes up a whole tragedy from nothing.
I can’t say that I changed completely or that now I am the most mature person or sth like that, because if there is no progress, it means you’re dead. Or just stupid. I mean I still have lots and lots of things to change about myself, to improve, to learn. And for all the previously mentioned things, I changed them, but it doesn’t mean that now I am like that for 100%. I mean there are still some cases when I am not completely sincere, or still worry about some bullshit. And even if things are not perfect now, I’m sure they’ll be some day. And to that day, I’ll learn all my lessons, pass my exams, maybe fail sometimes, but still, I will walk through the way of life and pick the best for my inner self. And with this positive note, I really want to thank everyone and everything in this year. All the fun, adventures, happy days were perfection for me, and the bad things were really important and enlightening. It’s only a year, but I wouldn’t be the person that I am now without any of these, even little bad things, so I would never change any of them. Appreciate everything that goes on in your life. That’s your memories, that’s your choices, and that is you yourselves. Don’t abandon the small parts of your existence, it will cause the most problems. Be grateful, accept everything and be happy in this new year. 2018, I’m looking forward 🔜