Have you noticed that whenever you ask someone who is the most important person in their life, the answer is always something like, my mother/father/friend/husband etc. I’ve never heard someone saying that they are the most important person in their lives. It really makes me think about our priorities. Why don’t we ever value ourselves? Why do we think that everyone else is more important than we are. Everyone keeps saying that we should be altruistic and think of other people and only then think of ourselves, but why? Would it be egoistic, thinking about yourself first? Hell yes, but who said that egoism is a bad thing? On the contrary, it is not only normal, but also a great thing. Of course everything is good within some limits, but thinking about yourself, your well-being, your comforts isn’t a bad thing. We were born alone, and we are going to die alone. But also our whole life we live alone. I’m not saying that we don’t have close people, who can always help and support you, but, let’s be real, no one can feel the pain that you feel, when you break your leg, when you have a headache etc. No one can feel what’s going inside your head when you truly fear something, when you have a panic attack or depression. No one, but you. The others can understand and support you, but they can never feel it the way you do. Or when you do something that you enjoy, when you get obsessed with another book or tv-show, only you can truly understand yourself and your love with it. So, doesn’t it mean, that you’re your only closest and best friend or person? I think it does. And if so, why we always put ourselves on the last place? Trying to adapt and agree with everything, even if it is not in our favor? We always try to be liked and appreciated, when in reality we don’t like and appreciate ourselves. We always do something we don’t wanna do, because of others opinion, because of some stereotypes, or because someone might be offended if you won’t do what they want. We always try to please everyone, our parents, fruends, the teacher, the society, but why? I mean, I don’t think that your parents would love you less if you didn’t become the most successful and richest economist or lawyer in the world, if you won’t feel happy from that. Your friends will not get offended if you didn’t do something for them, if they are your real friends. And I don’t mean, that we should never help anyone or we should only live for ourselves, no. If you feel, that you can and you truly want to do something for another person, do it. But even if you can, and you don’t want to, you better not do it, because it will only harm both of you. If you don’t feel comfortable than don’t do it just to please them. Because only you will know how bad it feels or how uncomfortable or insecure you are, and no one will understand you.
And, in the same way, don’t expect everyone to help you, to do something for you. Don’t connect your aims, dreams plans with anyone, because everyone gets their own lives and no one must do anything for you. Don’t force the others to do what you want, because throughout some time, you will have no one by your side. No one likes to be commanded or forced to do anything.
I think, this is one of the most important things that we should be taught at school. Not the unnecessary history, like who killed whom, who was the king like 1800 years ago. Or chemistry or maths or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that we should be uneducated, but frankly, who still remembers what they learned in school?~Awkward silence… Wouldn’t it be better, if we learn how to be happy, how to live this life, what is the real friendship or relationship? The universal truth, that, unfortunately, not everyone knows. Faking our personalities, friendships or relationships, being forced to do something we don’t wanna do, living the life, we don’t wanna live. Playing like puppets or actors in a movie, we don’t wanna even watch. And then complaining, complaining, complaining…Nope, I don’t want to live like this, I didn’t sign for it.
Everything will change if you learn to live for yourselves, to live your happy lives. Lear how to appreciate and love yourself, start saying no without any explanation, justification or apology. Stop saying sorry for everything, for a better opportunity, better life or the last slice of pizza. Prioritize your life correctly, and put yourself, your physical and mental health, you comfort, your goald and dream on the first place. Will people get offended when you refuse to do what they want? Yes. Is there a possibility that they can leave you and not talk to you? Hmm, yes. But do you really need this kind of people? No. Your closest people will stay with you anyway. And believe me, you won’t even care about anyone alse or their opinions once you are truly sincerely happy.